Betty and I got back home a few hours ago after having been in Phoenix since Friday. I’d been invited – quite a few months back – to be the keynote speaker this year at the Glitz Ball. A lovely CD named Grace – who was, I’m sure, the instigator of my being invited – picked us up at the airport, and as we were chatting (with me still blurry on anti-anxiety drugs because I hate flying), she casually mentioned how a bunch of people weren’t coming this year because I was guest speaker, and just as casually, started talking about something else.
Betty and I checked into our room and I asked if I’d been experiencing auditory hallucinations as a result of the drugs, and she said no – she’d heard what Grace said, too.
Later we were introduced to a few amazing other people, including Rene McCray, who does a lot of the makeup for the trans-community in Phoenix. We were both told we’d get along, and get along we did. She’s no wilting lily. She came into my workshop a little late, and just as I was about to end the session, she asked loudly, “So why do some people hate you?” or some version thereof. Maybe it was “Why doesn’t Tri-Ess like you?” It was one of the only questions I’ve been asked that I wasn’t expecting, but my answer went something like this: 1) for starters, I think sometimes people like to shoot the messenger, and 2) I publicly criticized Tri-Ess for their policies of excluding gay crossdressers and transsexuals from their groups, and for not letting local chapters (which might be the only trans support in their community) make those decisions for themselves.
Rene and I ended up speaking later (while she was generously doing our makeup), and I got to ask her if it was true that some people weren’t coming to the Glitz because of me. “Some,” she clarified, was about 40 people who’d come the previous year who hadn’t come this year – because of me.
I have to say, it kind of took me by surprise. I’m not surprised that people who have benefited from a group’s existence would defend that group or its policies. But I’m privy to a lot of information these days, and I know that arguments about Tri-Ess’ policies are going on throughout Tri-Ess, and even very high up in the organization. That is, what I’ve said about Tri-Ess a lot of Tri-Ess members are saying about Tri-Ess, so I didn’t think my comments were nearly as controversial as they apparently were. (To boot, many people have said such things about Tri-Ess long before me, including Dallas Denny and other former Tri-Ess members.)
I feel terribly that the Glitz should have suffered on my account, but I also wondered if the people who hadn’t come had read my book. Yes, I criticized Tri-Ess, but I also think my love for crossdressers is very, very clearly laid out. If I didn’t love CDs, and if I didn’t think they could do better in terms of their acceptance of TSs and gay CDs, I wouldn’t have bothered to take their main organization to task for their exclusionary policies. (Some would replace “exclusionary” with “discriminatory” but I’m trying to be nice here.)
What makes the whole thing even more ironic is that a gay men’s chorus sang at the event, and there were many TSs there, and workshops for them as well. That is, the Glitz is a mixed event, meant to unify the various factions of the trans-community. So the people who didn’t come are not people who refuse to mix with transsexuals or homosexuals, but rather refuse to listen to anyone who tells them it’s not nice to exclude either group from their organization.
Despite that, I had a wonderful time! I met a lot of people over the weekend, and had more than a few wonderful conversations. The speech I gave was not the one I’d written, but I expected that: I don’t like to write speeches at all, because I often have to write them before I meet the people I’m talking to, and prefer to tailor my remarks to the people who are in front of me.
So I’d like to thank Grace, and her lovely wife Anita; the straight partner of the trans-man who was willing to answer my questions; Rene, Bonnie, the bearded lady and her friend, ‘Just Evelyn’ and her partner Lacey (who came because I was speaking), and all the other folks who were kind enough to tell me they liked my speech, and who made me feel welcome despite the “controversy.”