Tonight at Hetrick-Martin, our talented young playright friend Tom Leger mentioned that he dates people “less butch than him.” And I loved the idea of only defining gender in relative terms. I’ve had times where I’ve thought we should drop “gay” and “lesbian” and “het” and use androphilic (loving men) and gynephilic (loving women) instead, but I think Tom’s solution is far more effective, and acknowledges a lot more genders.
I immediately thought that I’d probably say I’ve only ever dated people who were two degrees butcher or femmier than me (ie, in the same androgynous realm as me in some way or another).
I still think we need at least a Kinsey scale of genders. To at least 10 in each direction. One scale for Femininity, the other for Masculinity.
Shoot, maybe we need a grid.