I was busy writing a post about Jill Barkley and the Philly Trans Health Conference when the President’s appearance was announced. With my back to the TV, I heard Betty crack a beer open and then say, “It’s like a parade of evil.” Indeed.
We decided not to play do the Presidential Drinking Game suggested by Heather Havrilesky of The LA Times. Here are the rules:
- Every time Bush says “terror,” “terrorism,” “terrorist,” “war on terror” or “Terror Dome,” you drink.
- Drink when the president winks, nods and points at someone in the audience in rapid succession; drink each time he refers to 9/11 or uses the word “nuke-u-lar,” and drink something bitter when he says that “the state of our union is strong.”
- Whenever there’s a close-up of a sour-faced Democrat, drink. If it’s Hilary Clinton, Ted Kennedy or Harry Reid, drink twice.
- When Bush says “protect” as in “protect America,” “protect the lives of Americans” or “protect our right to eavesdrop on the phone calls of any American,” drink. If he refers to his solemn right to spy on antiwar activists as the “Terrorist Surveillance Program,” drink three times.
- Also, drink whenever the president uses the word “security,” as in the “security of all Americans” or “a secure nation.”
- When the president alludes to “tax reform,” “tax credits” or “tax relief,” give a big shout-out to the federal budget deficit — then drink.
- Drink each time the president begins a charming anecdote about some folks from a small red-state town; drink twice when the camera cuts to said folks.
- Every time the president smiles or chuckles when he’s talking about something scary and awful, like giant battlegrounds and forces of evil, smile and chuckle along with him — Haw haw haw! — then kick your dog.
- Drink each time the president mentions “free elections” in Iraq.
You really should read the complete rules, though. But both Betty and I have to work tomorrow, so this one just wasn’t an option. I’d be drunk by now (9:17 PM) if we had.