Becca and Dixie are a crossdresser & wife combination that are hard to beat. Both of them are committed to unity within the trans community as well as having alliances with the larger LGBT community. They run the Eureka En Femme Getaway (which is one of our favorite events) as well as the online group A Crossdresser’s Secret Garden and its website.
< Sis Becca
1. How did you come to start running the Eureka En Femme Getaway?
The idea of the Getaway actually started with our wedding – we were married in the Beckham Cave house in Jasper Arkansas and had 4 other couples join us (crossdressers and their wives), as well as a TS friend of ours from Florida. We were talking one night and someone mentioned we should do this more often. We started tossing ideas around and Becca mentioned Eureka Springs, thinking mainly because of its diversity and acceptance of the Gay community, it would be the perfect place to give it a shot.
A few weeks later Becca and I, along with another couple, took a trip to Eureka Springs and looked at the hotels there. The few that were in the downtown area were either too small, too costly, or not accepting. We walked into the Basin Park and after just a short talk with Misty, the hotel’s events coordinator, knew we had found a home. We signed a contract with her for 20 rooms. We got in the car and headed home and thought, WHAT have we done! WE do not KNOW 20 crossdressing couples, how in the heck will we fill the rooms! The small Tri-Ess group we belonged to at the time only had about 10 active members and those were husbands and wives, so assuming all would attend that is only 5-6 rooms out of 20. It was then that I (Dixie) decided to build the En Femme Getaway website with the hopes that we could fill the 20 rooms we contracted for. I worked furiously posting the Getaway on any and every TG website and online group I could find on the internet. By the time all was said and done, we had sold not 20 but 27 of the rooms (which was all we could get as the others had been booked!) So in the Spring of 2002 the very first Eureka! En Femme Getaway event was underway.
Everyone seemed to enjoy their time there so much, they were asking WHEN the next one would be…… Next one? We had not thought any further than then this one! Becca and I talked about it and thought ‘OK let’s give this a shot,’ so we planned one for the Fall of 2002, contracted with the hotel for all the rooms, and sold out. Since that time we have held the event twice a year (the only TG event to do that) and have sold out each and every time. This spring will be our 9th event, and many of those that attend have been back several times, with some of them having attended all 9 events!
Our first guest Speakers were Linda and Cynthia Phillips, who were instrumental in helping Becca in the early days. They were the originators of the first TG event (that we know of) – the Texas Tea Party. Since the first Event in the Spring of 2002, we have been blessed with many wonderful speakers: Helen & Betty, Lacey Leigh, Gina Lance, and Peggy Rudd to name a few.
What do you think are the best parts of it?
The people – seeing the joy and excitement on their faces as they step out of the hotel. Many of our guests have NEVER been out of the closet. The Getaway event was their first time to actually get out and enjoy themselves. The Getaway is quite unlike other event – we don’t have a plethora of seminars to attend that only tend to lead to a closet inside a closet. We encourage the girls to get out on the town and have FUN! After all, isn’t that what it is all about, getting out, having fun and being yourself?
Family. The Getaway has been described as a “Family Reunionâ€, and I think that is exactly what it is. I look forward to each Getaway and the chance to see ‘family’ members again.
2. What inspires you, Dixie, to put so much time and energy into running the Getaway and the Secret Garden group?
One word: ‘Love’. It is my love for Becca and the many wonderful friends we have met through the Getaway and the Secret Garden Group and Secret Garden website . I have often said “It is a labor of Love,” because it is hard work, between the two sites it is nearly a full time job for me, but one that I sincerely love and enjoy.
3. You work out of the heartland, unlike so many others in the trans community. How do you think that changes your perceptions of transgender issues and people?
Becca: It makes me very aware of how biased people are – even to the point of violence. The so called ‘Christians’ are the worst, in passing judgment. (I don’t understand why they are this way, Christianity is based on Love, so why so much hate?) ‘Macho’ is very important in Rural Areas, being Trans seems to be a threat to men. Rural Mid-America is very narrow minded. The Trans Community must remain hidden except for some of the Metro Areas like Memphis or St Louis.
4. Becca, you told Dixie you were a CD long before you tied the knot, and even got married in a ‘double bride’ ceremony. What was it about you that caused you to tell her before? Why do you think so many CDs don’t tell their wives beforehand?
First, the ‘Politically Correct Answer’… HA HA! She deserved to know upfront, as she was a wonderful person and I would not want to hurt her.
Second, and more the truth, I did not want to waste my time on someone who could not accept me for who and what I am. I was a single man, fair looking & had money,,,, and there were way to0 many good looking women out there who would not accept, for me to play games. Also, I found those women who know upfront are much more accepting, I feel as they do not feel trapped into marriage and also it does not get into ‘Trust’ issues – what else are you hiding from me, that type of thing.
< Dixie
5. Dixie, we’re two of a very few partners who are quite active in creating online community: why do you do what you do?
To get the word out, to hopefully in some small way reach those that feel they are alone out there and dealing with either being the wife/girlfriend of a TG person or with being TG. To have a safe place for those to discuss their feelings, fears and concerns, without the worry of running into the ‘porn’ and ‘pick ups’ you find in so many groups.
It comes back to me tenfold when a wife or CD says to me “You have helped me in so many ways, Thank you.â€
Why do you think there are so few of us actively involved?
Fear. It really amazes me how many wives are accepting, but tend to put a lock on the closet door when it comes to expressing publicly how they feel. I really think if more wives would step out there and show the public they are behind their husbands 100% it would help greatly in gaining acceptance from the general public.