In the ‘middle path’ thread, Marlena wrote:
While being single all these days years has sucked in other ways, one benefit is that it helped me find my equalibrium on the trans spectrum. I can dress generally when I want. The fact that I don’t want to do so constantly — and in fact if I do it a lot I get tired of doing so — tells me something. However, since the vast majority of CDs are in relationships where they’re in either the closet or with an SO who isn’t “do what ever your want” enthusiastic, they never really find their equalibrium point. So on other forums, I hear a lot of pent-up desire talking. I suspect if they had the opportunity dress every day, a lot of them would find that doing your make-up every morning soon gets to be a chore.
and michelleNYC’s recent comments made me think: do wives/girlfriends act as a kind of safety, an anchor, for MTF transfolk? Do we give CDs/TGs a sense of being tethered, so that they don’t go flying off into experimentation & sliding down the slippery slope?
Do we provide a kind of relief, even if at the same time we’re resented for how we might restrict our partner’s gender expression?
I’m a little worried about saying the word maternal outloud in this context.