Not Tonight, Dear

One woman has a low libido, & comes to raging conclusions about how most women do, too. (sigh)

For the record, for most of the couples who have attended my “Uneven Libidos” workshop (which I do exclusively at Dark Odyssey), just the opposite is true: more of the guys complain about having the lower libido. & I just wonder – since the one thing I would say is different about DO than about any other grouping of people talking about sex – if the difference depends very much on exactly how much experimentation the woman has done viz her own sexuality, that is, if she’s gone to any great lengths – & I mean great lengths – to find out what exactly turns her on.

Because I think there are still taboos in place, sometimes not even the ones from outside of us, the culture & our religions & our laws, even, but rather the ones that are inside. From where I’m standing, a lot of those internal taboos are about being correctly gendered in terms of our desires.

But one thing I’m clear about: what the world needs now is not another book about how women’s low libidos are natural, or that they’re low because women are women.