I still have moments of looking at the LGBT bookshelves in bookstores feeling sheepish – sometimes because I feel like I’m not “queer enough” to be doing so, or because people are clocking me as queer, that you must be queer if you’re browsing the LGBT section of a bookstore.
What’s funny to me is that I’ve stood in front of 200 people & talked about strapping it on, yet strangers in bookstores looking at me looking at books can still make me shy.
I’ve had the same feelings, both in the LGBT sections and in other sections as well, for instance, when I was looking for something in the self-help section of the store. Strangely, books, and the process of choosing books, are really intimate. At least if you are the kind of person whose self is involved in what you read.
Me too, when I’m looking at GLBT books I feel like everyone is looking at me, thinking ” she doesn’t look queer”.
Or going up to the checkout of an independent bookstore where I am somewhat known with a very naughty book, and the young man behind the counter gives me this big smile, I blush bright red.
Grandma Lizzy
I had to pickup Susie’s books at the feminist bookstore today and got into a big discussion on back ordering a copy of “A Visible Man” talk about feeling weird…they are probably still trying to figure out which I’m going LOL 🙂
Getting books from my university library can be awkward, since I’m often checking out stacks of books along the lines of “Neither Man nor Woman” and “Tommy Boys, Lesbian Men, and Ancestral Wives.” Last semester, the undergrad behind the check-out counter demanded to know what on earth a “lesbian man” is, given that gender is based on genitalia, right? I recommended some intro courses in Gender Studies or Anthro, if indeed he was curious about the topic. Other times I’ve just gotten weird looks.