I didn’t even know about this how-to website, much less that someone might use it so creatively & list the ways to treat a trans person of your (implied: recent) acquaintance.
- respect their gender identity
- watch your past tense
- use language appropriate to the person’s gender
- don’t be afraid to ask questions
- respect the trans person’s need for privacy
- don’t assume you know what the person’s experience is
- begin to recognize the difference between gender identity and sexuality
Do go read the full descriptions as they do have plenty of caveats. To me this is pretty incomplete, to be honest, and yet also beside the point. I mean, don’t you try to respect any/everyone’s gender identity and use gender appropriate language?
To me, the really important one is #5, which I might rephrase as: if you know someone is trans, you should not be telling other people the person is trans. You can, often, ask the trans person what their own policy is with who knows and who won’t. Some only tell a handful of very close friends & family; others not even those people, and still others will tell anyone who asks & don’t mind having other people tell people they’re trans either.
& Always default to my rule #1: once you know 1 trans person, you know 1 trans person. & That is all you know. You don’t know anything about “trans people” as a group as a result of having one friend/co-worker/cousin.
Really, it’s just as impossible to say one true thing about trans people as it is to say one true thing about all women.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t link to Calpernia Addam’s brilliantly wiseass Bad Questions to Ask a Transsexual. AN ES THESIA is my favorite part. Buzzfeed has a clever, gif-heavy list of questions trans people are tired of hearing.