Maybe I’ve been doing this too long, but in preparing to do a presentation for a local organization this week, all I keep thinking is that I want to walk in and say “trans women are women, trans men are men, and some people are neither or both. Don’t worry about their genitals, their socialization, or anything except whatever services you’re providing for them. Ask everyone what name & pronoun they prefer for themselves, and then use them.”
</end Trans 101>
& Obviously, I know it’s not that simple, but it really kind of is, isn’t it?
Yes IT really is that simple, then IT runs into the ever present ‘BUT’, which always complicates the simple.
If you believe the context of “gender” is simple, I have this bridge, in Brooklyn, for sale, cheap.
To me it really is that simple. About showing respect to the person and their wishes.
I will learn how the person wants to be addressed and use it regardless of any other consideration. If I get it wrong and they correct me, then I will apologize and use the right form of address. There is no need to debate, argue, feel bad or defend myself if I get it wrong or feel different. This is what the person wants so I will respect it just as much as I expect them to do the same for me. 🙂
It really is that simple and it is so wonderful when you do go to a healthcare provider that gets that! I recently had my first appointment with a hormone doctor and was asked which pronouns I prefer and what I would prefer to be called! It was refreshing and freeing and WONDERFUL! So, I hope you walked in there and said just this to the people you were speaking to! Thank you for EVERYTHING you do!