Book Covers


Betty took this photo of me not too long ago, and the funny thing about it was that we accidentally got some nifty stuff in the background: the beige thing, far left is (1) a galley copy of Virginia Erhardt’s upcoming book Head Over Heels: Wives Who Stay with Crossdressers and Transsexuals (Haworth, Winter 2007); the reddish thing, taped to the wall is (2) mock-up of a groovy cover by our own Lucy & Mary, which unfortunately got rejected for being “too abstract” but which I really loved, and right behind my head, with white text, is (3) the current mock-up of the intended cover, but with a model who is not Betty.

The Things You Do for – What?

If you asked Betty what it’s like to live with me while I’m writing, she’d probably just shake her head. Sometimes she talks about the buzz of contentment that emanates from my side of the room when things are going swimmingly, but other times (when things are not going so well) I am a snarky person to live with. If the book is happy, I’m happy. When the book is not happy, neither am I.
But the one thing that’s coming up for me a lot with this book is why on god’s green earth I decided to do this. It’s not as if our lives aren’t public enough (because they are). It’s not because I got paid so much I couldn’t resist. And at the end of the day, I’m still an introvert; I don’t do it for the attention. I’m not sure what that leaves me with. I’m not so kind and self-sacrificing that I do it for the good of others; that’s my mother’s job. That said, I certainly don’t expect to regret it, either; I like writing, and I like seeing my writing published. But some days I wonder why I don’t just write novels like a normal person, shrouding the mysteries of my psycho-sexual development in characters that seem like me but aren’t.

Lucky Number 13

Betty and I have become aunts today for the 13th time, with the birth of our 3rd nephew.  Four are on her side (including today’s), the other nine on mine.
& People wonder why we don’t want children of our own; we can’t afford birthdays and Christmas and graduation and baptisms as is.

Writer's Desk

I took this photo in order to figure out my desk ergonomics, & it surprised me to see exactly how much of my life it reveals.
desk

Starting at the upper right corner and going around clockwise, you can see: backup ream of HP paper on top of paper sorter stack; vintage lamp; large candle; my father’s old mahogany inbox; iPod (20 gig with black earbuds for subway safety); “Trans in the City” mug (a gift from the Hetrick-Martin Institute) of tea; scissors.

Center bottom: new underdesk keyboard drawer & old trackball mouse precipitously perched.

Starting at the bottom left corner: copy of Sims2 Nightlife on top of my computer tower & external hard drive; ashtray, cigarettes & matches; another inbox with articles I’m reading/using for the new book.

On the hutch, my bottles of painkillers, muscle relaxants, anti-depressants & allergy meds (so I remember to take them), a green page holder, Merriam-Webster’s Page-A-Day calendar, & the upper right corner of my new HP all in one printer.

On the top plane, above my monitor, the bottom edge of my Sandman “Still Life with Cats” poster with four postcards tucked into the frame: (1) Buster Keaton dining with an elephant; (2) postcard from the first Rufus Wainwright show I saw; (3) Our Mother of Sorrows 9/11 prayer card, and (4) Greta Garbo photo (the one the US postage stamp was drawn from).

If you look really close, you can also see that the monitor view is of the message boards, and in particular Lynne’s post about how to prevent CP and RSI, which is what caused me to take the photo in the first place.

(You can see a much larger version of the photo here.)

Blame It on Bill Irwin

Last night, after hearing from one of my preview readers that the first chapters of my new book come off as dispassionate, I sat around a little overwhelmed, a little frustrated, & a little sad. Not because she was wrong, but because she was right, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
I couldn’t work on the manuscript at that moment because I wanted to burn it, so I put on PBS just in time to catch a documentary* about Bill Irwin. For those of you who don’t know who he is, you might have seen him as “The Flying Man” who fell in love with Marilyn on Northern Exposure (oh, how I miss that show), or you might remember him from that “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” video that was played to death. It’s less likely that you saw The Regard of Flight (which was one of PBS’ Great Performances series), or his Broadway shows, Largely New York and Fool Moon. But you should have.
A Buster Keaton fan can’t help but love Bill Irwin, for the obvious reasons, but this Damfino just loves that there’s someone around to make me laugh. Being the somewhat hyper-verbal type that I am, I don’t find a lot of intellectual humor very funny. Mostly I think it’s mean-spirited, actually. But a pratfall or a spittake done well gets me every time. A pratfall with a good reason behind it is even better. Hat tricks rule, in general.
The documentary ended with them interviewing Irwin himself about becoming an older clown – pratfalls and physical humor aren’t easy – and he talked about what he might or might not do as a “retired clown.” But what he said that hit me between the eyes is that being an artist is largely about what’s inside you, & looking at that honestly, and then telling the story.
The timing was impeccable. I’m not really excited about the idea, because I’d much rather hide more and show less. It’s so much easier to be pedantic, but so much more boring, and so much less useful. So I’ll forge ahead, pull out my spleen, and see what comes of it.
But I’m blaming Bill Irwin for the whole terrific mess.
* And whatever you do, don’t read that awful essay on the PBS site about the documentary. It’s exactly not the introduction you want. Honestly, the Bobby McFerrin video would do you better. I’m particularly fond of the Northern Exposure episodes, but I loved that show too. What you really want is to see The Regard of Flight, which you can buy here.

Just Because

betty
I took this the other night, and I’m quite pleased with myself for having taken a photo of Betty that Betty likes. It’s a rare deed. That and dang she’s cute.