Book About Misogyny

A Ms. magazine article reports that Jack Holland’s final work, his magnum opus, titled Misogyny: the World’s Oldest Prejudice, was nearly not published. His family were forced to give back half the advance when Viking decided not to publish it, without an explanation.

It brought together two of his favorite things in the world: history and women. He loved women. Jack envisioned the book as a tool in advancing understanding between men and women. He’d been, as a journalist, primarily covering Northern Ireland, so he was very familiar with deep-rooted, vicious conflicts… It was a natural progression for him to take those gifts of observation to an even more personal level with bigger implications. This book [is] about women in Ireland, in Papua New Guinea, in Afghanistan, in the United States… It ties together so many different threads. It [helps us remember] that there is no one bad guy, or person, or religion, or philosophy.

I’m pleased to hear that Carroll & Graf (another imprint of my publishers, Avalon) decided to pubish it, instead: a book about misogyny written by a man who’d observed & chronicled the conflict in Northern Ireland and who grew up Catholic is very, very interesting to me.

Violence Against Women

The UN has officially declared violence against women a Human Rights Violation, and I have to say, I didn’t realize it wasn’t one officially until now.
A recent op-ed column in The NY Times by Bob Herbert comments on why no one is talking about a murderer who chose to kill only girls, and asks why we aren’t more angry at the misogyny and sexism not just of the shooter’s choice but the media’s lack of outrage. He does a nice job explaining why, too: We don’t care so much about women and girls; we’re seeped in a culture that accepts violence against them.
Initially I was chilled to hear he’d let the boys go when I heard the news, and waited for a while after for an explanation of why he chose only girls and never got it. I guess there doesn’t have to be a reason – not that any reason would make any sense at all.

Why I Stopped Working for Straight Guys

A while back I said I’d tell the story of how I decided not to work for straight guys anymore as a bookkeeper, & now I’m finally getting around to it.
A couple of years ago when I started doing freelance bookkeeping, I put an ad up on Craigs List, like you do, & so I got a bunch of emails from people who needed my help. Some offered to trade me for clothes or salon treatments or massages (tempting): you never know, with Craig’s List. But one guy I met with had started a small business doing interior remodeling after having worked on Wall St. a while. During the first phonecall I make clear upfront that I don’t work a.m. hours (because I write until 5am, though frankly most people don’t ask why), and we talk about what he needs & how far behind he is, etc. It seems like a do-able job so we meet for lunch and that goes well, too. He wants to hire me, but forgot his organizer, he’ll call. When he calls, he asks me to come in at 10am. I tell him again I don’t work in the am. He says okay, and we agree on a day & time. He calls me to cancel a day before that meeting, & we reschedule when he calls to cancel. He asks if I can come in at 10am. I explain again I don’t work morning hours, and ask him outright if he’s going to want to work on the books regularly in the morning. He says no, and we reschedule. So I go to our first meeting, look at his QB (QuickBooks, for the uninitiated) and then we discuss a regular time to come in.
& Yes, you guessed the end of the story: he suggested 10am.What a huge waste of my time.
That, of course, was after nearly 10 years working for Mr. Famous Author Man, who was f***ing his publicist and actually thought I didn’t know. He also decided at some point that I should work full-time for him without a 401k and health insurance (when the reason I worked for him freelance was so I could set my own hours and take time off to travel, which he was well aware of). But I can’t go into the rest of that story too deeply or my head will implode.
Then there was the guy who decided since the company wasn’t making any money the first person he’d get rid of was the admin/bookkeeper. When I first got that job, they were two years behind in billing clients – two years – which is a pretty solid explanation for why there was no money coming in, eh? So I got him up to date, and then I get laid off. I heard from clients of his that as soon as I was gone they’d stopped billing clients regularly again. Smart move there.
So, that’s why. Too many arrogant lunkheads. I thought before I hurt someone I’d try to make a point of specializing in minority clients, instead – specifically women and LGBT folks – and see if that was any better. And you know what? It has been. Way better. Like millions of times better. I don’t rule out straight guys; but I will ask now if they’re comfortable listening to/taking advice from a woman, if they’ve ever had a female boss, etc. Why? Because as a bookkeeper you have to tell people what to do sometimes, and there’s no point in being someone’s bookkeeper if they don’t listen to you. Now when I don’t think it will be a good fit, I often mention upfront that I don’t work morning hours because I write until the wee hours, which always gets them to ask the question: what do you write about? (or, anything I might have read? etc.) Replying, “a book about transvestites” is pretty much a shoo-in that the rest of the conversation will be awkward and they won’t want to hire me, and I can walk away without having to say, “I don’t think you’re ready for a female bookkeeper, so go pay your male accountant way too much to tell you the same things I would have.”

Curvy Tomboy

As some of you know, I think of myself as a tomboy – or whatever the adult term for that might be for a het/queer woman. (I haven’t come up with a term yet, so your coinages are appreciated.) But tomboys are supposed to be muscular & straight, you know, boyish, & my body hasn’t been boyish since I was a boy’s age, as it were.
I’ve decided that since I’ve got this generosity of breast these days, which is really unreconcilable with being a tomboy, that I needed to be creative. If I can wear my bevy of breastness like macho guys wear a big dick, you know, outta my way, kids, substantialness coming through, and yeah, I do need two seats on the subway.
So far it’s the only way I’ve managed to work out intersecting masculine and curvy. I don’t want to cancel out my woman-ness; I just want to have it register as a kind of masculine form of power.

Maybe They Should Call It a Guy-line, Instead

Wow, this is depressing news. I’m especially embarassed because Harper’s is my favorite magazine, and has been for many, many years now. So much for my life-long dream of getting published in it.

Women’s Bylines Lacking in “Thought-Leader” Magazines

Women writers continue to be underrepresented at five of the top “thought leader” magazines. An update of a report in last winter’s Ms. magazine reflects that the number of women writers has not increased since last year.

In The Atlantic Monthly, Harper’s, The New York Times Magazine, The New Yorker, and Vanity Fair, women earned just 447 of the 1,446 bylines—about 31 percent. Harper’s had the most glaring disparity of men to women writers, with a ratio of seven to one. Moreover, women are often relegated to “hearth and home” stories, rather than to “hard-news” stories.
Ruth Davis Konigsberg, a deputy editor at Glamour and the author of the reports, points out that the number of women writers does not reflect the readership of these magazines. The New Yorker (with a byline ratio of four men to one woman) has a fairly gender-balanced audience of 1,799,000 women and 1,710,000 men. Vanity Fair, with a byline ratio of three men to one woman, has an opposite ratio in terms of readership: three women to one man.

Not Jon Benet

Last night on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra Banks did her usual suspenseful schpiel: “I have before me 12 young girls who have a chance at becoming America’s Next Top Model blah blah blah.” Except I’m not sure it was her usual schpiel, because “young girls” just rang out at me, and I’ve seen the show before and it never did on any other occasion. Does she always say that? I mean it’s one thing to not call them women – since half of them aren’t over the age of 18, I don’t think – but “young” girls, too? To me “young girls” means 8 or 9 year olds, not 17 or 18 year olds. Young women would be far more appropriate, no? I mean if they really need to use “girl” instead, then how about just “girls” – 12 hopeful girls, 12 beautiful girls, 12 painfully-overdramatic girls, even.

The 5th Annual Blogger BoobieThon

They’ve raised over $26,000 for Breast Cancer Awareness, so for this year’s Breast Cancer Month, I’m in!
My mother survived breast cancer, & I bet she can think of about a gazillion other ways she’d prefer to have me help raise money. I can hear her already, “You could have just walked or something.”
But no. I think using breasts to raise money for the health of breasts makes way too much sense – so go! Make a donation! Guess which ones are mine!!