Get Helen to the GLAAD Media Awards!

Hi all! It’s rare I do this, but I’ve just been invited to go to the GLAAD Media Awards Banquet, but I can’t afford the ticket or the travel!

If there is someone out there who might make a donation to GLAAD anyway, you can buy my $500 ticket and get the tax deduction. I would be happy to consider some kind of barter in exchange, too.

Or, the many of you out there can help fund with just a small donation. If you need an email address, helenboyd@myhusbandbetty.com should work.

Pretty please? (If you can’t, feel free to pass this on to someone who might and can, please.)

 

Fair Wisconsin Gala! February 9th!

Next Saturday, Fair Wisconsin’s Education Fund will be holding a Gala to celebrate the year’s victories and leadership, and yes, Tammy Baldwin will be in attendance!

Tickets are $125 a person, and the keynote speaker will be none other than Zach Wahls. I will be there, of course.

I will also be doing a workshop at Fair Wisconsin’s Leadership Conference as well, which is a very cool event – a great place to learn about a vast array of issues facing LGBTQ people. There are scholarships available for students – and it’s only $35 for students.

The Love of Parents

I went to a breakfast to kick off a campaign here in the Fox Valley yesterday: the idea is to make sure LGBTQ people know they’re welcome. There have been too many suicides of these kids over the past few years just in this area, & I sat at the same table with one of the moms who lost her son yesterday.

You just don’t know what to say. There really isn’t anything to say. You keep doing, instead, in hopes that no other mom ever has to go through that.

So when I saw this piece by Rachel Maddow, about how PFLAG parents at pride parades *always* make her cry, I felt some kind of relief: me too. Who knows why. Maybe you can tell on some of their faces that it’s not what they’ve chosen. Or that it’s still hard for them. Or that they’re not convinced gayness isn’t a sin. Who knows? But they’re there, and they’re proud of their love.

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Which is, yeah: more of what the world needs.

(This clip is also a nice piece of gay history, & so worth watching. Obama’s retelling of Morty’s arrest at the Stonewall is priceless, too.)

Ms. Foster’s Regrets

You’ve probably seen it already, but Jodie Foster burned the house down last night at the Golden Globes by coming out. She had, really, already, back in 2007, and before that – well, anyone who cared has known for a long, long while.

But she was under tremendous pressure to come out for a very long time. She’s been mocked, criticized, and accused of being self-hating because she didn’t come out in a big public way. But she has been out to her friends and family – and, as I said, everyone else pretty much knew too. She’s been raising two children with her (now former) partner for the past two decades.

And while this coming out has also been criticized – some people are never happy – I thought she was fucking amazing & actually broke the goddamn rules and told everyone to go fuck themselves. & She did it totally seriously, without conceding anything emotionally. Unbelievable strength is what I saw, wrapped in barbs and spoken through pounds of fear.

While people concede the whole “but she’s an actor, she doesn’t get a private life” in some conjunction with the whole Hinckley Jr. trauma – I can’t imagine she experienced it as anything less than that – I’ve chosen a pretty non-private life too, and either you get to do what you want to do or you don’t. & To do some things, you don’t get to be private. So is that really a choice? I guess. But that doesn’t make it easier, to be honest.

The rage in her speech I understand entirely. Her friendship with Mel Gibson is utterly baffling – except for this: she probably understands better than most what it’s like to be so publicly & thoroughly hated for being angry and unpopular. I’ve rewatched this clip about half a dozen times, & I am still struck by the awesome amount of gratitude she expresses – that is in her voice, and her face, and her body – and that barely keeps in check the disgust and frustration with feeling forced to say something publicly.

Anyway, there was just something about this that struck a nerve – something that resonated with what Iggy Pop had to say about turning 50, something that I am beginning to understand deep in my bone marrow. Something in me has changed, too, hardened with anger, exhausted with pettiness while simultaneously overwhelmed by how deeply I can still feel. I am pretty sure this is not something I would have understood when I was younger or at a different time in my life, but I do now.

Thank you, Ms. Foster, for being unpleasant, hard as nails, and inimitably gracious and full of as much integrity as you could be.

Continue reading “Ms. Foster’s Regrets”

WI Domestic Partnerships

In the midst of all this bad news – the NRA’s ongoing thick-headedness, Iowa’s full speed reversal into 1953 – there is some good news out of the state of Wisconsin: namely, that Wisconsin’s domestic partnership registry has been upheld as constitutional by a state appeals court.

This is especially good news as Wisconsin has a superDOMA in place, which not only bans same sex marriage but bans anything like marriage for same sex couples.

Here’s the basic gist:

Democratic lawmakers created the registry in 2009. Same-sex couples who join it are afforded a host of legal rights, including the right to visit each other in hospitals and make end-of-life decisions for one another. About 1,800 couples were on the registry at the end of 2011, according to the latest data from the state Department of Health Services.

Members of the conservative group Wisconsin Family Action filed a lawsuit in 2010 alleging the registry bestowed a legal status substantially similar to marriage to same-sex couples. The group argued that violates the Wisconsin Constitution’s ban on gay marriage.

Republican Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen refused to defend the registry, declaring it was clearly unconstitutional. Former Gov. Jim Doyle, a Democrat, appointed private attorneys to defend it, but Republican Gov. Scott Walker fired them after he took office in 2011 because he, too, believed the registry was unconstitutional.

Fair Wisconsin, the state’s largest gay rights group, stepped into the case to defend the registry. Dane County Circuit Judge Daniel Moeser ruled last summer that the registry was constitutional, finding it conveys a status that’s not identical or substantially similar to marriage.

Which means, in a nutshell, that right now is a damn good time to donate to Fair Wisconsin and thank them for their efforts on behalf of some very basic rights of same sex couples.

Got Milk?

“. . . let that bullet destroy every closet door in the country.” – Harvey Milk, speaking of his own future assassination & what our response to it should be. He was killed 34 years ago today.

My friend David Metille (muh till) posted this on Facebook. It is perfect.

34 years ago today, Harvey Milk was assassinated. He was only 48 years old, but he had managed to change the world.

From a taped recording made November 11, 1978 to be played in the event of his assassination:

“This is Harvey Milk speaking from the camera store on the evening of Friday, November 18. This is to be played only in the event of my death by assassination. I fully realize that a perso
n who stands for what I stand for, an activist, a gay activist, becomes a target or the potential target for somebody who is insecure, terrified, afraid, or very disturbed themselves. Knowing that I could be assassinated at any moment, any time, I feel it’s important that some people know my thoughts. And so the following are my thoughts, my wishes, and my desires, whatever, and I’d like to pass them on and have them played for the appropriate people.

I have never considered myself a candidate. I have always considered myself part of a movement, part of a candidacy. I considered the movement the candidate. I think that there’s a distinction between those who use the movement and those who are part of the movement. I think I was always part of the movement. I wish I had time to explain everything I did. Almost everything was done with an eye on the gay movement.

I ask for the movement to continue, for the movement to grow, because last week I got a phone call from Altoona, Pennsylvania, and my election gave somebody else, one more person, hope. And after all, that’s what this is all about. It’s not about personal gain, not about ego, not about power — it’s about giving those young people out there in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias, hope. You gotta give them hope.

The other aspect of this tape is the business of what should happen if there is an assassination. I cannot prevent some people from feeling angry and frustrated and mad, but I hope they will take that frustration and that madness and instead of demonstrating or anything of that type, I would hope they would take the power and I would hope that five, ten, one hundred, a thousand would rise. I would like to see every gay doctor come out, every gay lawyer, every gay architect come out, stand up and let that world know. That would do more to end prejudice overnight than anybody would imagine. I urge them to do that, urge them to come out. Only that way will we start to achieve our rights.

If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door in the country.”

Thanks, Harvey.