Category: s.e.x.

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For Milwaukee

We had a great time in Milwaukee this past weekend: a gathering of LGBT people on Saturday night, a sex workshop at The Tool Shed on Sunday, and then a workshop on gender variance Monday afternoon followed by a 7PM lecture about queer heterosexuals.

I did meet a bunch of people who asked me about various resources I mentioned in passing, so here goes:

& I think that’s it. If I’ve failed to mention anything I said I would post to here, feel free to email me about it or remind me in the comments section.

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A Kind of Love Letter

From the Best of Craig’s List Toronto, a kind of love letter from a straight guy to every “hot/nerdy/self-possessed/athletic/capable/charismatic lesbian” he’s ever met.

I guess we could just be buddies. I can resign myself to the friend-zone if you promise to go girl-watching with me once in a while. Maybe then you’ll see that I don’t want to “turn” you (for the sake of either ego or Jesus). I just want to get physical in a way that would make a straight girl’s over-sized purse explode. I fully trust you’ve got some knowledge to drop.

Don’t judge me, oh hot diggity dyke, if I don’t fit into your worldview. Just hold me once in a while and tell me that I’m simply another colour in our glorious rainbow.

Another queer heterosexual trying to work it out.

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We’re Gonna Make It!

Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m going to Milwaukee for the first time, & for me, Milwaukee is always going to be Laverne & Shirley’s city.

What I’ll be up to:

So do come to whatever you can if you’re in the Milwaukee area, & do spread the word. All the links are to Facebook pages, since that’s how the kids are doing it these days.

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Naming All the Parts

Today I’ll be covering Kate Bornstein’s “Naming All the Parts” chapter of Gender Outlaw with my Gender Studies 100 class. It’s always an interesting thing to bring up hankie codes with undergraduates.

It’s the chapter in which she passes on this limerick:

A gay man who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with what, to whom.

What is maybe more surprising is that it’s very rare to see them even blink; these are students who were about 5 years old when we were having a national conversation about whether a blowjob was sex or not.

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Bye Bye Betty

Bettie Page, one of the women whose name influenced my own Betty’s, has died at the age of 85, in Los Angeles, following a heart attack.

<<  This is what she looked like at 80. If only we could all look half so good… but then we all know what she looked like half a century ago, in the 1950s, when she was in her 30s, and that was – well, better than just about anyone else. I picked this one, of all the gazillions out there, because she looks so pretty in it. I hope her beauty brought her some happiness in life.

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Fidelities

The NYT publishes a column about Polyamory and specifically about Poly Pride, a celebration being held in NYC this weekend.

Alex Williams, the journalist who wrote it, seems to have come away with the main impression I’ve come away with: too much talking. I can barely manage one person in my life, but I can’t imagine more. I just don’t have the patience.

Toothbrush disputes are the least of it. In the era of safe sex and cellphones, a life that seems to promise boundless sex in fact involves lots of talking. And talking. And talking.

For one thing, they constantly have to explain the way they live.

That last line ring out to any trans people & their partners out there? One of the reasons Betty & I love the various alt.sex communities we’ve run into is that there is a shared experience: you may not be explaining the same thing, but you’re still explaining. Or, as I like to explain in my Uneven Libidos class, the further you are from the socially-condoned relationship – heterosexual marriage with something like traditional gender roles – the harder it is to find validation and support for the way you live.

If you want to know more about poly, I highly recommend Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up, and her website, which lists tons of resources for poly people.