Helen Boyd Kramer's journal on gender and stuff
Here we are again, off to DO, and I probably won’t be blogging or checking the boards (much) while we’re gone. The internet is always a little iffy from camp, and really, honestly – a little too cyber when there are people having sex near you on lounge chairs.
We’ll be back Monday-ish.
Just to clarify, since a few people have asked: we will indeed be at Dark Odyssey’s Summer Camp this year, which happens from September 10th – 15th. It’s probably our favorite event of the year. I’ll be doing two of my regular workshops at DO: Trans Sex & Identity, and Uneven Libidos.
If I haven’t made clear what we love about this event, let me say: it’s inclusive. Beyond inclusive. The mix of sexualities – queer, straight, BDSM, kinky, leather, swinger, pagan, etc. – is mind-blowing. It’s sex positive in a way that nothing else I’ve experienced is.
It is very trans friendly, but you’ll only want to bring heels that you wear when you’re on your back, not to walk in – most of the camp is grass. There’s a pool, there’s lounge chairs, & there’s plenty of trees to be tied to, if that’s your sort of thing.
(You can check out a bunch of other posts I’ve done about DO over the years we’ve been going to get more of an idea.)
I was reading over at feministing.com about casual sex, & read a recent bulletin from GenderPAC about the increase in Purity Balls, & then was mourning over the loss of another trans woman who got beaten to death by a guy who she’d previously given a blowjob to, & it got me thinking.
See, I wasn’t comfortable being a nubile when I was younger. I wasn’t comfortable ever being a nubile, & am still only wont to dress in sexier ways in very safe spaces – like DO, or certain queer/drag/fetish events, or the like. As much as I know it’s never a woman’s fault if she is hurt because of the way she’s dressed, I also had enough contact with non-sexual street violence to be twice as cautious about leaving myself open to any kind of sexual abuse or harassment, much less violence.
Which probably makes me painfully Second Wave, but there you go. I just don’t get it, & I’m never going to get it. I never had good sex that was casual; a long-standing “booty call” type relationship was a little closer to my experience of having good, non-committed sex, and maybe here we’re just defining “casual” in different ways, and the folks over at feministing are talking about the same kind of relationship. Continue reading “Me, Victorian Prude”
Has anyone been watching Sex: The Revolution on VH-1? I catch it late at night sometimes, and I’m finding it a pretty decent series. Tonight, on Episode 3: Do Your Thing, the pride movement, San Francisco, Anita Bryant & Harvey Milk, and commenting, Susan Stryker. Next up, Episode 4: Tainted Love.
It’s good documentary, imho – concise, good interviews, capturing some major cultural moments through the music & images.
It just so happens that some of our sexed-up friend are throwing a double book launch party on our 39th birthday, so of course we’re going, & you’re free to join us:
On May 13, 7:00-10:00 pm, you and your peeps are invited to….Party with the Sexerati!
Come celebrate the release of two exciting new books:
- Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino and
- Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson.
Tantra teachers Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson and sex expert/Village Voice columnist Tristan Taormino will party with the Sexerati as they schmooze, dance, and sip on special complimentary cocktails provided by Espiritu del Ecuador. You’ll get an exclusive sneak preview of their latest collaboration: see Mark and Patricia teach Tantra techniques to performers in Tristan’s latest volume of her award-winning porn reality series, Chemistry 4: The Orgy Edition. Every person who purchases a book will get a free tantra, sex ed, or porn DVD. Guests will also be treated to fabulous gift bags full of sexy, sensual, fun goodies hand-picked by the authors. Plus, don’t miss an exciting performance at 9 pm by a very special guest!
(Directions & other info below the break) Continue reading “Party with the Sexerati”
I’ve just gotten back from South Carolina where I had a *great* time, and while I’m collecting my thoughts on the trip, I thought I’d bring your attention to my single favorite Dan Savage column, from a woman who feels the need to confess teenaged fun with the family pet(s).
If you’re gender dysphoric and have a partner who isn’t – and who is having a hard time with your gender stuff – please take notes while reading it.
Tristan Taormino has a new book coming out about non-monogamous relationships called Opening Up
The book has its own website, designed by the very fabulous & talented Betty, so do go check it out.
Iowa’s now in the Top 17 of Hippest States, for having turned down the bullshit abstinence-only sex ed funding the Federal government has to offer.
In 2007, Rep. Mary Mascher, D-Iowa City, sponsored a bill that, when passed last spring, set guidelines requiring all of Iowa’s sex-education curricula to be scientifically based. This created a conflict with the federal guidelines for Title V funding, which its opponents say are not medically accurate.
Nutty idea: education based on science.
Congratulations to Tristan Taormino on her 200th “Pucker Up” column for The Village Voice. She’s been writing that column since 1999, and even mentions the column about The Queer Heterosexual that I cited in My Husband Betty. (She also wrote a column about My Husband Betty, which did the book a world of good).
So congrats Tristan, and keep on putting your nose (or whichever parts you choose) into other people’s sex lives – with their consent, of course.
Yours Truly was interviewed for an article on “Ten Hot Sexuality (and Gender) Issues of 2007 by Naked on the Internet author Audacia Ray. My bit is mostly the “(and Gender)” part of it, about ENDA & the Hate Crimes Act.
I think it’s the first time I’ve been interviewed for anything that was also about pole dancing.