Category: whimsy

This is cooler than most things.

I saw an ad for Smooth Away on a night when I just couldn’t stand the thought of waxing or shaving my legs. Some days I just get exhausted by the maintenance; my nails grow like weeds & so does my leg hair. They always have, which is why I know better than to expect a miracle product like Smooth Away to work; I’ve tried far too many & wound up disappointed.

What made me feel a lot better was reading this review of Smooth Away – not just because it’s very, very funny but because I”m not the only hairy, lazy idiot in the world.

Have I mentioned that I’ve figured out how you know it’s getting to be spring in Wisconsin?

The snow stays on the ground for only a week after it snows.

How cool are these guys?

Yes, I’m one of those people. I hadn’t ever heard of Feng Shui back in the day, and I’ve been rearranging rooms for “flow” for as long as I can remember. I had a friend who used to make me come with her to see apartments so I could determine whether her furniture would work right in it. What I do, for the record, isn’t Feng Shui at all. I just have to feel right directionally.

When I moved into my apartment at Lawrence, I was so thrilled with the size of the place that I tried very hard to ignore how unfortunate the bedroom layout was. Until now. What happened is this: the other night I woke up in the morning and I had moved myself to sleep on the bed perpendicularly. In my sleep, that is, I had rotated myself a full 90 degrees.

So despite the fact that the room doesn’t work so well because of a misplaced radiator, I’ve rotated the bed the same 90 degrees I’d moved myself in my sleep, and voila: I just realized my bed is now facing North, as it should be. (It faces NE in Brooklyn, but that’s because Brooklyn’s crooked.)

I am hoping this clears up some of the wrong moves, wrong words, wrongness in general that has been plaguing me lately.

If you like what we’re doing here & can help us keep doing it, please donate. Thank you so much.

& Happy Valentine’s Day from Sarah Haskins, who just can’t leave the bullshit alone.

I’ve been humming it for days. Betty arrives here in Appleton tomorrow, about 14 hours from now.

Damn.

The woman suffered a traumatic injury several years ago that left her with no nose, palate, or way to eat or breathe normally. In a 22-hour procedure, 80 percent of her face was replaced with bone, muscles, nerves, skin and blood vessels from a dead donor.

It was the fourth partial face transplant in the world, though the others were not as extensive.

How cool is that? I can’t imagine what it might mean to look in the mirror after that surgery, but then lots of people have extensive plastic surgery on their faces for various reasons. I’m so not the type to do that, so maybe that’s why this blows my mind, considering what it’d feel like if I had to.