(#TDOR) My Students Asked…
… why it is I don’t like TDOR or often go to TDOR vigils, and here are the reasons:
We remember Evon Young, killed in Milwaukee, Wis., on Jan. 1.
We remember Cemia “CeCe” Dove, killed in Cleveland, Ohio, on March 27.
We remember Fatima Woods, killed in Rochester, N.Y., on May 30.
We remember Kelly Young, killed in Baltimore, Md., on April 3.
We remember Valarie McKinney, killed in Shreveport, La., on July 12.
We remember Diamond Williams, killed in Philadelphia, Pa., on July 14.
We remember Islan Nettles, killed in Harlem, Manhattan, New York City, N.Y. on Aug. 17.
We remember Domonique Newburn, killed in Fontana, Calif., on Aug. 20.
We remember Artegus Konyale Madden, killed in Savannah, Texas, on Sept. 1.
We remember Terry Golston, killed in Shreveport, La., on Sept. 6.
We remember Melony Smith, killed in Baldwin Park, Calif., on Sept. 9.
We remember Eyricka Morgan, killed in New Brunswick, N.J. on Sept. 24.
We remember Amari White, killed in Richmond, Va., on Nov. 9.
Via Gwen Smith, who founded TDOR, this is a list of all the people killed in the US whose names we know. I remember getting the news of each of them, in turn, and reading the horrific details of their deaths – they are always horrific – as Riki Wilchins once pointed out, they are immolating, often so violent it is as if their killers were out to make them not exist, to have never existed, not just kill them.
And I cried with every one, but so hard for Cemia Dove and for Evon Young, because their bodies were disposed of in the surest sense of the term – thrown away. & Islan Nettles, because I lived for so many years where she died.
So if people ever wonder why I get angry at why we haven’t made the world more trans friendly yesterday, this is why.
Murder is rarely about the individual who does the killing. It’s about the systemtic tranphobic discrimination all of these individuals experienced before they died. It’s about how hard it can be to get a job, to feel connected and loved, to use a public bathroom, to be asked, time after time, who you “really” are.
For every one of them, there is a me mourning – a lover, a friend, a mom, a dad. These are the people we love. Please help us make the world safer for them.
Enough already.
I will go to Appleton’s TDOR tonight, because I’m proud that this little city even has one and because I’m proud of my students for doing the work to make it happen. And because there should be a place where I get to cry for Evon Young’s mom.
TDOR 2013
Here is this year’s post, which is also up at the Wisconsin Gazette. This was co-authored by Will Van Rosenbeek.
International Transgender Day of Remembrance is a time to reflect on those who have been killed because of transphobia and hate. For those who are transgender, genderqueer or non-binary — and their significant others, friends, family and allies (SOFFAs) — not remembering isn’t even a possibility. Because we know that when we leave the house, or when our loved ones leave the house, there is some chance that some person out there will decide our loved one’s gender is wrong or bad. We know there are people in the world who think that violence will fix their own fears, law enforcement officers who think our lives aren’t important, and courts that think panic is a legitimate reason for murder.
What we’d like to see is a day when we can’t remember the violence committed against people who live their genders despite transphobia, who believe in their own dignity and right to exist. What we’d like is a day when the faces of those who were brutally murdered for being who they are don’t flip through our minds as reminders of the fear we need to live with.
We all have privileges! We may be white, we may be cisgender, we may be educated; we may have money and health insurance and the possibility of getting a job without questions about our genders. Most of the transgender people we remember had few or none of those advantages. Too many of the people who are killed every year are people of color, people who do sex work, people who have to decide between horribly risky work and starving.
For some transgender people, it is just the human desire to have companionship that makes them vulnerable to attacks.
While we remember those murdered, we want to celebrate them too. We see a transgender community filled with beautiful, engaged and joyful people. We see people in love. We see people with careers and jobs and families and hopes. We see people with aspirations and confidence.
What we want to see when we look around the transgender community is a great deal of joy. The kind of joy that comes with victory not just over the transphobic world we live in, but with the internalized transphobia all of us share — transgender and cisgender alike.
Fair Wisconsin LGBT Leadership Conference: Feb 7-9, 2014
Online registration for the 2014 Wisconsin LGBT Leadership Conference is now open — register now and enjoy early bird rates! Held February 7-9, 2014, we have another weekend full of inspiring speakers, educational workshops and fun social networking planned, and you won’t want to miss it. Click here to learn more about the conference and register today!
SAVE THE DATE: February 8, 2014 — for the 2014 Annual Leadership Awards and Gala Dinner in Milwaukee, featuring a Keynote by Kate Bornstein! This annual gala dinner is our largest event and is held the same weekend as the Leadership Conference (tickets sold separately). Online registration is coming soon! Please contact breianna.hr@fairwisconsin.com for more information about sponsorship opportunities, or to reserve a table today.
RIP Doris “I’ve won all the prizes in Europe, every bloody one – it’s a royal flush” Lessing
Really, writers don’t get any funnier or more cantankerous than that, do they? Here’s another nice piece where she talks about writing and mentions that the “trick” of writing is hard work (amongst other things).
Too Personal?
William T. Vollman, Crossdresser
So here’s an interesting artistic/literary take on crossdressing that is definitely not the standard narrative and yet shares some commonalities with it:
In the book’s introduction, Mr. Vollmann explains that his interest in cross-dressing is more an exploration of femininity than an expression of some complicated gender identity. “Not only am I physically and emotionally attracted to women,” he writes, “I also wonder what being a woman would be like.”
But his hobby has cost him friends, and he said he has “a certain amount of fear and dread” about the book’s publication. “A lot of friends who could always handle the prostitutes and the drugs felt that I had somehow degraded myself,” he said. “The idea of stepping down from the dominant male class really disgusts a lot of people, including women.”
Still, Mr. Vollmann is not one to let other people’s opinions sway his interests. He found being a woman, or attempting to appear as one, endlessly fascinating, even when it was unpleasant. (“Mascara is an incredible hassle,” he said.)
I have to say, however, that I’m always a little suspicious of narratives like this one, especially because of how decidedly “masculine” he is otherwise. The Times article begins
As far as writers go, William T. Vollmann is a man’s man. In pursuit of a story, he has roughed it with the mujahedeen in Afghanistan and survived a land mine explosion in Bosnia. He singed his eyebrows off and nearly froze to death exploring the magnetic North Pole. In Thailand, he rescued a teenage girl from sex slavery by kidnapping her from a pimp.
… which may be the mark of a man’s man, but in my experience, it sounds more like the overcompensation of a closeted CD, except, of course, that he’s not closeted – not anymore, at least.
Women Are Not Outside For Your Entertainment
..seen on Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn, some time around the 10/19/13..
Brian Eno & Grayson Perry on Perversion
GP Careful! Speaking as a pervert myself, what the internet did was tell you that you weren’t alone. And it was shocking. When I was young, when I was about ten years old, I used to have this fantasy, which used to turn me on greatly, of being in a body cast – lying in hospital, motionless, unable to move. And then when the internet came along, one day I just thought, “I wonder,” and then I just googled “plaster casts” and like – eugh! There’s websites called things like Cast Your Enthusiasm. It’s an offshoot of bondage.
BE It’s an offshoot of surrendering, as well – the same thing. You’re deliberately losing control.
GP And it’s kind of a loving thing, I think. It has to be. If you think about giving up to God, God is always there and is a parental presence, a parental projection. In bondage, there is always somewhere in the fantasy the loving but cruel parent figure.
BE The loving dominator.
GP Yes, we’re all gimps to a certain extent. Often when we look at perversions, you’re seeing an extreme, ritualised version of what everyone else has latent in them.
“Often when we look at perversions, you’re seeing an extreme, ritualised version of what everyone else has latent in them.” = You can put that in your pipe & smoke it.
1 WTC Gets Lit
(& it’s amazing, but honestly, can anyone look at this photo & no think: but damn, that bridge is too gorgeous.)