Much to my chagrin, Kiss of Athena discovered people were blogging against heteronormativity this past Saturday.
Better late than never, I guess.
You can read more about why at this blog, blac(k) academic.
Turn of the Century Tranny
The photo is of three Yale students, c. 1883, which I found courtesy of Staci’s blog, Passing Interest, where she notes that:
A Yale dean ruled that no member of the Yale Dramatic Association could impersonate a female on stage for more than two consecutive years ‘because continued impersonation tended to make men effeminate.'”
Slippery slope, indeed.
You can find more history of crossdressing at Yale at the Larry Kramer Initiative site. I recommend reading the whole of these archives of LGBT history at Yale, but if you don’t have time to read the whole thing, do at least check out the entry about two trans Yale alums.
Gender Gift Horse
A recent comment to a not-so-recent blog post required a thoughtful response. The subject was my dislike of the term “gender gifted” and while Michele pointed out some excellent reasons to prefer the term, I’m not an easy mind to change.
So let me explain a little moreso why I think the term is inappropriate, if not inexact.
I suppose there are a few reasons I think the way I do about the term “gender gifted.” One of them is that I think positivity-phrasing can often delude people in terms of the difficulty involved, and I don’t think that’s good for a few reasons: 1) the general public shouldn’t think it’s easy/a choice to be trans; 2) trans people should be aware of what they’re getting into when they open that Pandora’s Box; and 3) trans people need to be aware of what their partners, family, & friends may go through as a result of their transness.
I want to stress that I don’t believe it needs to be as simple as “it’s either a blessing or a curse.” Fire is both. Anger is both. Lust is both. Parents, even, are both. I can’t choose, and won’t.
But mostly I think what we’re coming up against is a sensibility difference: I find it easier to get through the world by knowing when my glass is half-empty, so I can start figuring out how I’m going to fill it. Others prefer to see it half-full until it’s empty. You can call me a worrywart (which I am), or the “pulls no punches” type, but either way I think that’s the real difference between what’s being said.
I think it’s been too long that people have considered transpeople crazy, reckless, or just out of touch with reality. And most people – if faced with any decision that might require the loss of job, partner, and home; a change of every piece of ID; tens of thousands of dollars of surgery and/or hormone maintenance – would say, that’s a f*** of a lot to go through for anything, much less a gift. So the whole idea of calling it “gifted” rings false for anyone who isn’t trans; remember, we’re not inside your heads and can’t (and probably won’t) ever understand any anything that would motivate a person to go through so much. And you do go through that much, whether you transition or not. – I assume that’s one part we can’t disagree on, yes?
To me, using the term “gender gifted” is much like being the kind of person who stands in a doorway when it’s raining and is thankful that the flowers are getting a good long drink. They may be honest, they may be sweet, they may love flowers. But the other people in that doorway who have been kept from getting to work, or home, or wherever they’re supposed to be, will think that person is just a little too out of touch, and a little well – touched, as well.
It doesn’t mean they’re wrong; it just means that their perspective may be perceived as a little left of center – which is okay on its own. I have no doubt that transfolks need upbeat types around to get through a day (or a life). I don’t think a unified message is necessary; I think the trans community needs its many voices, and many perspectives, in order to get everyone what they need.
Toga's Parents
It turns out that Toga’s parents – Toga was the penguin who was stolen from his parents at an Isle of Wight zoo around Christmas – have hatched a new egg. Poor Toga was never found, and is presumed dead, since he was too young to survive without his parents at that young age, but hopefully Toga’s parents will be happy with their new offspring.
Security has been beefed up around their nest, of course.
(Thanks, Caprice!)
Too Much TV
Okay, so I’m watching way too much TV I guess, because I just caught Kirstie Alley’s most recent Jenny Craig commercial: she is walking down a dark street, alone, when a guy’s voice yells out, “Momma, you’re looking good!” (or some approximation thereof). And she says – here’s the red herring that made me pay attention – “Are you talking to me?”
And when he says yes, she doesn’t hollaback, oh no. She starts into a ‘Singing in the Rain’-styled dance number set to the tune of “It’s Raining Men.”
I guess this is the best you can expect from someone who has had bodyguards for so long she doesn’t remember how it feels to walk down any street alone (much less a dark, deserted one) and have some asshole decide that’s a good time to tell you how good you look.
Connecting being thin with “earning” this kind of bullshit, scary compliment loses her a few more status points. All kinds of women get harassed on the street – not just skinny ones.
Gossip & Calumny, Pt. 2
The real problem with having stupid gossipy things happen is that I have to deal with them instead of answering an email from someone in need.
Last night I got the email from the person who told me that Bobbi Williams was repeating that tripe. In the same session, I also got an email from a woman whose husband went off the deep end – convinced he was transsexual, he had a therapist tell her instead of telling her himself, and then backed off the whole idea, only to realize he’s just a crossdresser. She’s freaked out, needed resources, and instead of getting back to her asap I had to cool down a while first.
That’s why being gossiped about is so annoying.
The Next Book
It just occurred to me that not all of you would know that you were missing some info about my next book by *not* reading Damian McNicholl’s interview with me. The last question he asked was:
DMN: Are you working on anything new?
to which I responded:
HB: I’m working on a book now called Boy Meets Girl, which is about the things I’ve learned about gender in relationships as a result of being with Betty and as a result of meeting a lot of gender variant people since I published My Husband Betty. What I’ve noticed is that until or unless there’s a problem with gender, it’s invisible. We make huge assumptions about who a person is and who they’re supposed to be as a partner and lover based on gender – and I came into this relationship thinking I was pretty smart about gender, and didn’t do any of those things. But when your husband starts wondering if he should transition (that’s the PC term for a ‘sex change’ these days), you have to think a lot harder about gender, and learn a lot more. Boy Meets Girl will be a memoir of my struggle to figure out what it might mean to our romance if my husband became my wife, and how what I learned in the process might help others in relationships of all kinds.
So there you have it.
Damian McNicholl: Banishing Cockroaches
I interviewed Damian McNicholl, author of Lambda-nominated A Son Called Gabriel, and now he’s gone and returned the favor by putting up an interview with me on his blog. He’s also included some of his own thoughts about My Husband Betty, prejudice against crossdressers, and growing up with “inherited” prejudices.
Not Working
As someone who already had PTSD when 9/11 happened, I’ve been very attuned to the fear-mongering that’s been going on in his country for the past four years. I’ve been aware of it because it works on me – works in that I start to fear getting on a subway or a plane. And let me say, there’s been a lot of it, all of it focused on what the terrorists might do. There’s been so much that I understand why Americans are fearful, and even why they voted for Bush: they wanted to be safe. So do we all.
But it strikes me that on this Sunday morning, what we have all feared terrorists doing has now happened, and it wasn’t terrorists who did it. We have lost a great American city to a combination of natural disaster and incompetence. We gave up our civil liberties, we gave the President new, sweeping powers, we funded the Department of Homeland Security. And for what? Because we thought, we hoped, that doing so would keep us safe; that a small sacrifice, like letting the government in on what I’ve been reading, would give the government enough power to handle something disastrous quickly and well.
They didn’t. There’s a lot of blame-laying going around: ironically, Republicans (who are usually for giving more power to state and local governments) are blaming the state and local governments for not being prepared, and Democrats (who tend to like big, nation-wide planning) are blaming the Feds. The irony that the current Republican Party says it’s for smaller government when it has increased the powers of said government is not lost on me.
Gov. Blanco (D-LA) called a state of emergency on August 26th. She asked the President to do the same on August 27th, which he did.
So what happened? FEMA has said that all the emphasis has been placed on terrorism, not natural disasters, which is why this went as wrong as it did. But surely the response to a natural disaster or a terrorist attack requires the same mobilization, supplies, and swiftness, yes? Why, if on August 27th, FEMA were alerted that they might have to help Louisiana with the aftermath of Katrina, are people’s moms still dying as of Friday night? I’m sure there isn’t a simple answer, although it’s pretty clear to me that the White House – along with Chertoff, Brown of FEMA, and the President himself – have shown themselves to be incompetent, or, as a recent editorial by Greg Mitchell pointed out, they are guilty of dereliction of duty. One that’s proved fatal, not just to thousands of American citizens, but to a great American city.
My question, then, is when do we get our civil liberties back? If we traded them in for safety and security as promised by the Bush Administration, and we are not getting those things, shouldn’t we get them back now, due to breach of contract? Because if a hurricane – which is one of the most predictable types of natural disasters – caught these guys unprepared, then how on earth can anyone still believe that they will be prepared for a terrorist attack, which is not predictable at all?
(Much thanks to the blogosphere for doing the legwork: Josh Marshall, Atrios, Kos, and Kevin Drum.)
Katrina
First a letter from one RenaRF to the President which was also posted on Daily Kos. It sums up how I’m feeling, too.
RenaRF also provided a list of organizations that are focusing their efforts on the Gulf.
Also, here’s a good article on the funding issue, & why the region wasn’t prepared.
& Another one that appeared in Salon
There is *no reason* that in this country, with our resources and technology, the poor folks of the South were left to evacuate by their own means, except for the short fall of empathy.
And God bless that man who had to let go of his wife’s hand.