Tag: events

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CO Events

Finally, I have all the details on the stuff we’ll be doing in Colorado!

On October 9th, I’ll be speaking at the Metropolitan State College of Denver.

Where: MSCD Campus, Denver

When: Tuesday, October 9th, 1-3PM

then, in Boulder:

We’ll be part of the TRANSforming Gender 2007 Conference at the University of Colorado @ Boulder. More details about other speakers – including Matt Kailey (author of Just Add Hormones) & Julia Serano (author of Whipping Girl) – can be found on the conference’s website.

Where: Dennis Small Cultural Center, University Memorial Center Rm 457

When: Wednesday, October 10th

I’ll be doing a workshop on Queer Heterosexuals/Emerging Identities from 3:30-4:45

and then will be part of a panel with the other speakers from 5:15-6:30.

Both/all these events are open to the general public, so do come if you can.

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Banned Books Week

Yesterday was the start of Banned Books Week, so go out & buy one of the many books people objected to this year. Among them, the regulars: Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War, two by Toni Morrison, and new ones on the list seem to have been chosen for having homosexual themes/characters: And Tango Makes Three, Gossip Girls, Athletic Shorts; and The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

You can find a Banned Books Week event near you, or you can just go out & buy one of the Top Ten most challenged books of 2006.

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Five Questions With… Marilyn Frank

Marilyn Frank has been sharing her story with wives at Fantasia Fair, IFGE and Tri-Ess seminars since 1982. She married her husband Len in 1954 and didn’t learn about the cross dressing until 1964, 10 years and 3 children later. At that time the only information available to her was Virginia Prince’s book The Transvestite and His Wife (now titled The Cross-dresser and His Wife) which she still finds to be one of the best books written.

1) First, Marilyn, I want to thank you on behalf of all the partners out there, for stepping up at a time when most of us weren’t even in high school yet. Without women like you & Peggy Rudd, the struggle to have partners’ issues recognized would be a lot more difficult. So what caused you to do the educating you did?

In the 1970’s I was a volunteer on a crisis intervention hot line in Morris County, NJ. When I became Director, I questioned some of the professionals in the group, who did not know much about cross dressing, but were able to assist me in finding people who did know. During this time we came upon Tri-Ess, and then in 1980 Len read the article in Playboy about Fantasia Fair and in 1981 we spent a few days at the Fair. I had many discussions with Ariadne Kane about the wives’ needs, and this brought Niela Miller to the Fair and that’s where my true education began. Since it had been a very lonely road not only for Len, but for me, I decided I would reach out to help others, so that’s when I started facilitating a wives group at our local Tri-Ess Chapter, which I did for for over 10 years. I also was instrumental in starting the wives’ program at the first IFGE Convention. My philosophy is that every time I help someone, I help myself. It’s true the marriage had its ups and downs where the cross dressing was concerned, but for us it was a small part of our overall marriage. We have always had good communication, enjoy many of the same things and do have a sense of humor (that helps).

Continue reading “Five Questions With… Marilyn Frank”

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If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

More occasionally than I’d prefer, I hear MTFs bemoaning the style faux-pas of their fellow trans women. Sometimes it’s the transitioning women commenting on a crossdresser’s appearance, & sometimes it’s the other way around. But you know, style is a very personal form of self-expression, and should be respected as such. A person may intend to look exactly like how they appear, & do not feel any need for anyone’s “help.” That, & you may not know what their reasons are for looking the way they do.

Some of you may know Trankila, who is a regular at events like FanFair & IFGE & who keeps her full beard when she crossdresses. People who don’t know her/her story just think she’s insane or has no sense of style. But the reality is that her wife loves her beard, & happens also to be specifically attracted to cross-gender presentation, Trankila keeps it even when she crossdresses. (Trankila & her wife talk about their experience with Trankila’s gender on an old GenderTalk show.) For the record, there are also women raised female who can grow their own beards, & who do.

Likewise with something like pantyhose: (1) plenty of people wear hose because they’ve say, made a deal with their wives not to shave during the summer or other times (or through the year, depending on the deal they’ve made, and (2) other people use hose to help tuck.

Having a mohawk makes me more suspicious of “style policing,” in general, but also, as a partner advocate, I’ve heard from too many wives who were comfortable with whatever deal they made with their partner, who then comes home from a conference where people told her not to wear necklines that covered her collarbone (which she was doing so as not to shave chest hair her wife loves) or not to wear hose in the spring/early fall (which she was wearing to keep her leg hair because there’s a family BBQ the next week), etc.

& Frankly, I’ve had my own feelings hurt so many times by people insulting what I’m wearing at these MTF conferences/events that I’m thinking of having t-shirts made up that say Being a Catty Bitch Does Not Make One a Woman. Grow yourself some manners, & if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone’s appearance, then STFU. (Okay, that’s not the way our mothers taught us that Golden Rule, but consider it updated for the internet generation.)

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Teaching

By a somewhat unusual series of events, I’m going to be teaching a Women’s & Gender Studies class this fall at Merrimack College in N. Andover… Massachusetts. I wasn’t expecting to, which is why I won’t be moving there, which means instead about a six hour commute – that’s one way! – in order to do so. But I couldn’t turn it down, since it would give me the chance to work with the very cool Gordene Mackenzie, of Nancy & Gordene from GenderTalk, as she runs the program there. Since I’m writing again, I’m always pleased to have good writing time – both on the train & during the time I’ll be on campus. I’m very much looking forward to it, and hopefully I’ll get to see some of my friends who live in the Boston area while I’m there.

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Trans Couples: Adrien & Elena

I’m going to tell you the story of me, Adrien an FtM transman, and my partner, Elena a free-spirited, open-minded, adventurous, bi-sexual genetic woman. Y’all get ready, because some parts of it are scandalous. OK, here we go.

When Elena and I first met, I think it was late 1998, we just really hit it off, the way you do. The meeting that stood out was at the state fair, for a friend’s birthday. We were there with lots of friends and acquaintances and between us there was that magnetic energy – we were more interested in each other than anyone else and for reasons soon to be disclosed, this wasn’t entirely appropriate. Soon after that night at the fair, we met again at a party, a lesbian party. At this point on the timeline of my transition, I was just getting into the transgender vocabulary and ideas and was definitely starting to recognize myself as trans, but I was pre-everything with only some glimmerings that chest surgery might be something feasible for me. So, I was still living at home in the bosom of the lesbian community, but starting to scratch the itch that would bring my time there to its end. At present, we still have many gay and lesbian friends, but some have dropped out of our lives as well. Since the beginning of our relationship, we always found that we felt more aligned with our straight couple friends and I definitely do not call myself a lesbian any more. Elena’s relationship and sexual history includes men and women but at the time we met, she was identified as lesbian and had a female partner. But back to the story…

Continue reading “Trans Couples: Adrien & Elena”

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GIP August Events

There’s two events coming organized by the Center that I wanted to let people know about.

The first one is Trans on the Sands, on August 12th, from 11am – 5pm: a day at the beach for transgender, gender non-confirming, genderqueer people, their families and allies, at Coney Island. Meet directly across from the boardwalk entrance to the New York Aquarium under a ‘GIP’ sign.

The second is a Femme Symposium, on August 18th, from 11am – 5PM: an opportunity for self-identified femmes in the New York City metropolitan area to socialize and connect with other femmes. It provides femmes and our allies with space to discuss issues and topics of relevance and is intended to increase the visibility of femmes. All who attend are entitled to explore their own definition of femme throughout the day. While this event is for, about and by femmes, allies are welcome. There is a $10 entrance fee to cover costs, but no one will be turned away for lack of funds. For further information: nycfemmesymposium@gmail.com.

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Triangle Trans

I’ll be speaking at the fledgling Triangle Transgender Society in Norwalk, CT, on August 7th. You don’t have to be a member to attend. I’ll start speaking around 7Pm, & I’ll finish when no one has any more questions.

Do come if you’re in that neck of the woods (or can get there).