They’ve raised over $26,000 for Breast Cancer Awareness, so for this year’s Breast Cancer Month, I’m in!
My mother survived breast cancer, & I bet she can think of about a gazillion other ways she’d prefer to have me help raise money. I can hear her already, “You could have just walked or something.”
But no. I think using breasts to raise money for the health of breasts makes way too much sense – so go! Make a donation! Guess which ones are mine!!
BoobieThon
Just found out that this year’s Blogger BoobieThon will happen on October 1st. What a cool idea, to use breasts to raise money for the health of breasts and to raise awareness of Breast Cancer.
Dark Odyssey #5
We almost didn’t go to Dark Odyssey this year for a variety of reasons, but as it turns out, femme tops top everyone: Tristan told me we had to, so we did. When we were leaving, and I was getting really choked up and was sad to be going, I knew I wouldn’t ever think of not going again. What Tristan and Greg and all the many perverted presenters, staff, and attendees create on a campgrounds – nearly out of nothing – is really singular, in my experience.
There were plenty of familiar faces missing this year – some in the middle of new book publicity, others dealing with personal stuff or health concerns, and many, many people were missed. But people stepped in to fill the gaps, and it was as if Betty and I had an omen of what a good DO it would be when we found ourselves, the first night that we got in, talking to one of the staffers we’d just met about Neil Gaiman.
Betty read Stephen King’s IT the whole time we were there, and I’ll let her blog about how meaningful she found that book this time around.
Continue reading “Dark Odyssey #5”
Macho Homosexuals
I came across an old article in Salon about Tom of Finland and I thought perhaps some of you didn’t know how it came to be that (male) homosexuals are sometimes assumed to be macho. I came to know Tom of Finland‘s art because the infamous Sex boutique sold (amongst other things) a t-shirt of his gay cowboys drawing, which was worn by Johnny Rotten and of course by Adam Ant.
Bordering on Misogyny
More thoughts on the MWMF controversy: I find sometimes the anger expressed toward the exclusionary policy-makers at the MWMF bordering on misogyny. Because relatively speaking, lesbians want to keep trans women out of a camp. But when I look around at the world, and what goes on with trans women, I see really horrible things, like rape and horribly brutal murders and cops and media using phrases like “he” or even “it.” & I wonder if sometimes the level of outrage against MWMF isn’t kind of – overamped. I mean they’re just keeping trans women out of a private music festival, not firing them or denying them housing or health treatment or hormones or life.
You know? I don’t think their policy is right, but I also think there are bigger eggs to fry, and using all this energy and rage over MWMF might find people exhausted when something else comes up.
I understand that it’s much easier to be very angry and disappointed with people who should know better, and yes, I think the organizers of the MWMF should know better. But their actions, in terms of comparison, are not as hateful as some of the anger describes it as being. Discriminaton and exclusion is horrible, yes, but it’s a music festival, not the right to live and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I’m just not sure the level of anger is – well, appropriate.
But then I don’t think the level of hate and suspicion being tossed around by MWMFers toward trans women is anything like appropriate, either.
Neither of these reflections, by the way, has anything to do with what people have been saying on our message boards – they’re observations taken from other things I’ve been reading.
Not Barbie, Skipper
Lisa Hix wrote a nice rant about having an A cup for the SF Chronicle in response to hearing a show where a plastic surgeon waxed enthusiastically about implants. She points out that there are in fact health risks (including possibilities of hematoma, infection, deformity, toxic shock syndrome, plus the usual risks of anesthesia, the chance of losing sensation, decreasing the likeliness of breast cancer detection or the inability to nurse) but moreso points out that having an A cup is having a breast, and tires of the kind of talk that somehow equates A cups with not having breasts at all.
As a former A cup, I can tesitfy that you do in fact have breasts when you have A cups. I really enjoyed having A cups. I miss them.
I’ve found my recent re-sizing something to think about. For starters, I’ve been finding it harder to find nice bras now that i’m a D cup, much as I had a hard time finding ones when I was an A cup. The difference is that with a D, you absolutely do not want to compromise on support – in fact, you can’t. But I also had a moment of revelation while reading the beginning of Gerrie Lim’s book about the porn industry, which had more than one reference to pendulous D cups within 10 pages, and so caused me to think, “Huh, who knew? I’ve got pornstar-sized breasts now,” but the idea didn’t thrill me; I took it more like I would someone telling me I had the perfect size foot for shoe fetishists. Basically, I don’t care, because they don’t do me any good. It might have mattered some when I was 25 and single, but I’m not sure I would have cared then, either. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy them; I do. But I’d enjoy them more if I could take them off when I want to go to the hardware store or the grocery or to do other errands, all those times when I don’t want to be looked at. Not wanting your breasts stared at by every guy on the streets is exactly why you can’t sacrifice support at this size: if you do, they bounce more, which is not really what you want unless – ba rum bump! – you’re a porn star.
I find myself wearing a sports bra most days now, actually. Mostly I’ve realized that I’m glad I don’t get to choose, since both sizes have pros and cons, and the only real advantage resides in being one of those grow-up dolls that enabled me to change sizes with a quick, full rotation of one arm.
Ben Barres, My New Hero
So someone is finally using transness as the last tool in the feminist toolbox, and I’m pleased as punch. Ben Barres, a PhD in various types of biology at Stanford, has written a response to Larry Summer’s views on women in science and gotten it published in the journal Nature.
Barres is an FTM who is recounting some of the experiences he’s had as a female scientist, and more recently as a male scientist – just to demonstrate the difference to people who don’t seem to get it:
Once (at MIT), he was told that a boyfriend must have solved a hard math problem that he had answered and that had stumped most men in the class. After he began living as a man in 1997, Barres overheard another scientist say, “Ben Barres gave a great seminar today, but his work is much better than his sister’s work.”
– but not only that, he’s actively working on getting female scientists more awards and grants:
Last year, Barres convinced the National Institutes of Health to change how it chooses talented young scientists to receive its Director’s Pioneer Award, worth $500,000 per year for five years. In 2004, the 64-person selection panel consisted of 60 men — all nine grants went to men. In 2005, the agency increased the number of women on the panel, and six of the 13 grants went to women. Barres said that he has now set his sights on challenging what he perceives as male bias in the lucrative Howard Hughes Investigator program, an elite scientific award that virtually guarantees long-term research funding.
Quite a few major papers have covered his editorial, and if anyone out there has a copy, I’d love to see the full text.
Thank you, Ben Barres!
Five Questions With… Ariadne Kane
Ariadne Kane has been doing transgender outreach longer than many of us have been walking – since 1972. She was on The Phil Donahue Show in 1980 and probably gave some of the people reading this a glimpse that they weren’t alone in being trans. Somewhere in there she came up with the idea of Fantasia Fair, as well.
< Ariadne Kane
1. Since you were the person who ‘invented’ Fantasia Fair, how did it come about? What did it take to put on the first couple of them? How has it changed in the ensuing years?
Fan/Fair (the abbreviated version) was conceived of in 1974. It struck me that we could create a dynamic program of activities that were educational, social and practical for all CDs & TSs who were willing to come out from the ‘closets’ of shame, guilt and shyness. I believed that, in a tolerant and open community, they could learn some things about being femme or masculine; get much needed help about comportment and presentation and, have truly educational experience out of the ‘closet’. It was with this guiding premise that Fan/Fair was created. It was with the help and financial backing of 3 members of the Boston Cherrystone ‘T’ Club and myself that Fan/Fair 1 became a reality in 1975.
Needless to say, we learned a lot about the needs and aspirations of the ‘T’ community, including what program elements worked in favor of our Goals for the program. Over the next 3 decades, the Fan/ Fair Steering Committee adopted a template for programming and administration, These included a balanced mix of educational, social and practical modules for the ‘T’ person who wanted to emerge from the ‘closet’ and learn the dynamics leading to personal growth and adaptability in either the feminine or the masculine gender role of choice. This template is still the guiding instrument in the design of every Fair, even today.
Continue reading “Five Questions With… Ariadne Kane”
No "Them" Or "Us"
STRAIGHT RIGHTS UPDATE: I’ve been running around with my hair on fire trying to convince my straight readers that religious conservatives don’t just hate homos. Their attacks on gay people, relationships, parents, and sex get all the press, but the American Taliban has an anti-straight-rights agenda too. As I wrote on March 23: “The GOP’s message to straight Americans: If you have sex, we want it to fuck up your lives as much as possible. No birth control, no emergency contraception, no abortion services, no lifesaving vaccines. If you get pregnant, tough shit. You’re going to have those babies, ladies, and you’re going to make those child-support payments, gentlemen. And if you get HPV and it leads to cervical cancer, well, that’s too bad. Have a nice funeral, slut.â€
After raising the alarm for months back here in the sex ads section, I was intensely gratified to read Russell Shorto’s brilliant cover story, “The War on Contraception,†in the New York Times Magazine last weekend. To readers who think I’m being hysterical: So you don’t think the religious right would seriously go after birth control? Fine, don’t believe me. But maybe you’ll believe Shorto when he lays out the American Taliban’s plan to deny access to birth control—any and all types, folks, not just emergency contraception.
“In particular, and not to put too fine a point on it, they want to change the way Americans have sex,†Shorto writes. “Contraception, by [their] logic,†Shorto continues, “encourages sexual promiscuity, sexual deviance (like homosexuality), and a preoccupation with sex that is unhealthful even within marriage.†Shorto quotes Judie Brown, president of the American Life League: “We see a direct connection between the practice of contraception and the practice of abortion. The mind-set that invites a couple to use contraception is an antichild mind-set. So when a baby is conceived accidentally, the couple already have this negative attitude toward the child. Therefore seeking an abortion is a natural outcome. We oppose all forms of contraception.†And there’s this from R. Albert Mohler Jr., president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary: “I cannot imagine any development in human history, after the Fall, that has had a greater impact on human beings than the pill… Prior to it, every time a couple had sex, there was a good chance of pregnancy. Once that is removed, the entire horizon of the sexual act changes. I think there could be no question that the pill gave incredible license to everything from adultery and affairs to premarital sex and within marriage to a separation of the sex act and procreation.â€
I’ll say it again, breeders: The American Taliban is not just opposed to straight premarital sex, with their abstinence education and hilariously ineffective virginity pledges, or gay sex, with their “ex-gay†campaigns and their anti-gay-marriage amendments. The American Taliban doesn’t think married heterosexual couples should be able to use birth control. If you care about your own freedom—not just your right to have premarital sex, but your right to decide whether, when, and how many children you’re going to have—you need to read “The War on Contraception.†And don’t comfort yourself with the notion that these are just some antisex religious wackos: The Bush administration not only listens to these wackos, it appoints them to important positions all over the federal government—and let’s not even think about the members of the American Taliban that Bush has already appointed to lifetime positions in the federal judiciary.
This is some serious shit, breeders. You’re being attacked. It’s time to fight back.
Copyright Dan Savage. Thanks to JoanieC for calling it to my attention.
Aurora Update
I had the extreme pleasure of taking our little fireball Aurora to the vet a couple of days ago, and honestly, if she had been a human child and I her mother I would have been terrifically embarrassed by her bad behavior.
She was okay going there – seems to like the car ride, actually – and even in the waiting room and waiting in the exam room. After sniffing out the whole place she actually laid down on the exam room floor, not a care in the world. Of course the vet did show up eventually, and then… the fun began. For everyone. Aurora is apparently of the mindset that if she’s going to have a bad time then everyone else is, too.
She hisses and spits and lunges to take bites. She kicks with her clawed back feet and smacks with her front declawed paws. She growls and grumbles and howls and twists and spins and will not stay put. The vet had to listen to her heart rate between low growls (ie, when Aurora had to stop growling a moment to breathe). She hissed when she checked her ears, and then – oddly enough – was quite still when they put the thermometer in her butt. (Betty thinks she’s just smart, and knew she’d hurt herself if she moved too much while it was in her!)
Now this is a 10 lb. cat. Two adults had her triply wrapped in a towel, with one adult, experienced tech holding down her front half (the poor woman) and the vet herself holding down Aurora’s hind quarters with one hand & trying to alternately draw blood/give her shots with the other. What should have taken all of five minutes took about 20, and other techs and vets kept coming to the windowed door of the exam room to find out who was torturing that poor cat.
Ah, she is a redhead.
The good news is that she’s now fully vaccinated and all her bloods are good, which means: she is a healthy 2 or 3 year old (we’ll never know for sure). And I’m pleased. She is not one bit grateful, but she is letting me touch her and pet her today, so apparently she forgave me my part in it.
But wow. For cat lovers out there: she really was something to behold. I couldn’t help but feel a kind of perverse pride in her for taking no prisoners. But we’re also quite proud of having nursed her back to health, and having her become a healthy, cantankerous, fireball of a kitty.
Now I will make sure to make an appointment with the same vet for the boys, as a kind of consolation prize, since they are the most calm, mellow kitties a vet ever examined.