Tag: marriage

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Thank You Del

Activist and co-founder of The Daughters of Bilitis, Del Martin, has died. She co-founded the DOB – the first lesbian organization in America – with her partner, Phyllis Lyon, in 1955. Together they wrote and edited the group’s newsletter, The Ladder, and also co-wrote the 1972 book Lesbian/Woman. They were also issued the first marriage license after California’s Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional to deny same-sex couples the freedom to marry. That is, they were married on June 16, 2008, nearly 60 years after they met.

Godspeed, Del Martin. And Phyllis — what can anyone say? Thank you both so much for being so brave. Phyllis, I hope your bravery sees you through missing her in the days ahead.

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A Bit of Good News

A German court has decided that a pre-existing marriage does not have to be dissolved if one of the spouses in said marriage changes their legal sex.

In the UK, that’s exactly what has to happen, & if the couple wants to remain married, they can then have a civil union (just as Jan Morris & her wife have just done).

In the US, of course, it’s more a loophole because marriage is a contract, & contract law is such that as long as the contract is legal at the time it’s written, it continues to be unless otherwise contested.

But as far as I know, this is the first ruling to acknowledge that some transsexuals are already married when they transition, that they choose to remain married after transition, and that their marriage is legally a same-sex marriage after the fact.

It’s good news.

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The Disappearing Virgin

The New York Times just did a great article on the tradition of sworn virgins in Albanian culture – that’s the tradition that says a woman can foreswear marriage (& presumably, sex) in order to live as a man & so be head of household, inherit land, etc.

Betty & I had an Albanian cab driver in Boston not so long ago who had no idea what I was talking about when I asked him about it, & no Albanian I’ve ever met – I ask them all – has ever heard of it, either. But the article makes clear exactly why your average Albanian wouldn’t have.

What’s most interesting to me is that in every case they cite – and I don’t know if this is true for every case – it was the woman’s choice to “become the man.”

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Bad Mojo

Feministe has compiled a bunch of evidence that gay couples are being something like hand-picked to get married in CA. Why? So that they look right. So that there’s no men in dresses. So that images from the gay weddings can’t be used by opponents of same-sex marriage to prove we’re all freaks.

Well you know what? The real gender “problems” like me & Betty are already married, people, so quit worrying. Let the boys wear gowns – I mean, how long have some of these couples waited to tie the legal knot?

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You May Now Kiss the Groom (in CA)

A very happy wedding day to all the Californians who are finally able to get married to the ones they love.

It’s unfortunate how much a basic civil right has to be fought for, & unfortunate in so many ways (and not even the ones Mattilda goes into).

And I know many people are bothered by it because it’s not an economic issue, and that more than anything, LGBT people need employment non-discrimination protection. And we do, we do. But I’ll make this argument, as a legally married queer: marriage is also an economic pact. It’s not romantic, but it is something. It’s about being able to be a dependent on your spouse’s health insurance (which saves you money). It’s about being able to live together (which saves you money). It’s about getting Social Security benefits. Amongst other things.

So congratulations, bride & bride, and groom & groom: you may now fight with your spouse about money, & forever have your credit record linked to theirs.

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About Time

Finally I don’t have to be embarassed to be a NYer: Governor Paterson has decided that NY will recognize other states’ same-sex marriages!

In a directive issued on May 14, the governor’s legal counsel, David Nocenti, instructed the agencies that gay couples married elsewhere “should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union.”

The revisions are most likely to involve as many as 1,300 statutes and regulations in New York governing everything from joint filing of income tax returns to transferring fishing licenses between spouses.

It is SO about time.

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Two Bits

Two bits of good news: Khadijah Farmer won the suit against Caliente Cab Company, & not just that:

Among the workplace practices that Caliente Cab agreed to adopt in the settlement was to add gender identity and expression to its corporate nondiscrimination policy; to adopt a gender-neutral dress code for its employees; and to amend its employee handbook to state “persons patronizing or employed at Caliente have the right to use the bathroom facilities consistent with their gender identity and expression.”

The second piece of good news – well we’re hoping it will end up being good news – is that California’s Supreme Court just lifted the Same Sex Marriage Ban. There are a few potential downsides – like gay marriage becoming a presidential election issue again – but for now I’ll leave you with Shannon Minter:

Shannon Minter of the National Center for Lesbian Rights said same-sex marriage advocates could not have hoped for a more favorable ruling by the Republican-dominated court. “It’s a total victory,” Minter said.

I just love that a trans person was the one who argued the case, and won.