Tag: marriage

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Singapore Skips a Beat

I saw this clip about Singaporean import Dr. Thio Li-ann on Queerty, and it reminded me that a PM who recently stood up to get the homosexuality laws off the books in Singapore was not reappointed. Some in Singapore feel his not being reappointed had everything to do with his support for LGBT rights, although his support for women’s rights – AWARE is a feminist group – certainly contributed.

Interestingly, he’s also currently involved in a petition to get the residual marriage rape laws taken off the books in Singapore.

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Sexless Marriage

Obviously this NYT article about sex & marriage is written from an incredibly heterocentric perspective, and it’s primarily talking about marriages where the sex started good & disappeared over time, and, in my opinion, it’s unnecessarily pessimistic.

The answer to this question “Are couples in sexless marriages less happy than couples having sex?” is especially reductive. We can’t tell if happy couples are happy because they’re having sex, or if they’re having sex because they’re happy, or even if the two things have anything to do with each other. & I’m suspicious of any self-reporting when it comes to sex, since so many people say they’re having a lot more than they are.

Otherwise, I’m interested in her longitudinal research. I just hope she includes more than heterosexual relationships in her work.

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Marital Biology

This brief but mostly accurate article about Philly-area politics and same sex marriage summarizes the issues of how we define man and woman.

The only problem, of course, is that we do define man and woman legally, and judges can do so when it comes to marriage and divorce. Just because there are more than two sexes when it comes to biological or cultural gender doesn’t mean judges can’t legally define only two. Trans people especially have had their sex defined for them – and usually not in the way they wanted.

So while her argument is valid, and imho, true, it isn’t any kind of protection against having our genders defined legally in ways we don’t like.

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From a Dad

If you haven’t yet read this letter from the father of a gender variant 10 year old to the KRXQ talk show hosts who encouraged violence against kids like his son, do. Here’s an excerpt:

No, my kid is making me tell you to tolerate all gender expression.

Women in crew cuts who are straight. Men in dresses and makeup who are straight and married to straight women. The same people, in terms of gender expression, who are gay. Everyone.

You don’t have to love them. You don’t have to wear a dress yourself. You don’t have to have a gay marriage, or marry a butch woman. None of this will be mandated in the world which I’m trying to make by talking with you.  You, a person I desperately want to ignore.

As Betty said after reading it: “I have such hope for the 21st Century.”

You will too. Go read it and the other letters on this new blog.

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Blogging for LGBT Families Day!

Today’s the day! I’m blogging, as I have in years past. for LGBT families — who have, thankfully, seen some gains this year! I know plenty of my queerio friends are tired & frustrated with the whole push for same-sex marriage, and trans activists are frustrated as well, because they want the attention on non-discrimination legislation, but as a married person, who is now same-sex, it makes me kind of ill to realize that the state I’m currently living in is actually struggling only to recognize domestic partnerships (for f***k’s sake). My home state can’t work it out either, which is downright embarrassing as a NYer. It’s a mistake, in my opinion, to divorce marriage from the economic issues that are at stake: even something like health insurance is vitally important, & very expensive if one spouse can’t be covered by the other’s health insurance.

So from my very small family to yours: keep working on same sex marriage. You don’t have to ignore other issues – like the gender identity & expression version of ENDA – but goddamn if I’m going to be a 2nd class citizen, & neither should anyone else.

Here’s some other trans family bloggers:

Join us next year!

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Five News Stories

Fairfax High School elected a male student Prom Queen.

Tom Ackerman, a gay man, has vowed to call his friends’ wives their girlfriends, because he’s decided his religious views don’t allow him to recognize opposite-sex marriage.

The New Scientist tells you everything you ever wanted to know about female ejaculation (& maybe a few things you didn’t want to know).

A woman named Brenda Lee got dragged bodily off of Air Force One when she tried to give President Obama a letter asking him to stand up for heterosexual marriage.

Publishers Weekly reports from the BEA that US Publishers have vowed to fight digitized piracy.

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NYS Same Sex Senate Vote

Fivethirtyeight.com has done a breakdown of the possible same sex marriage vote for the NY Senate. Basically, there are probably 20 definites, & then a bunch of solid Nos, & then a bunch of undecideds. If your rep is on this list, CALL HIM OR HER RIGHT AWAY.

Even if these people aren’t your reps, you should call them & tell them to vote YES & stop embarassing the good residents of NYS by being so ass-backwards, already.


UNDECIDED, LEANING YES (1)
55. James Alesi, R-Upstate (East Rochester) link

UNDECIDED OR UNKNOWN (11)
1. Kenneth LaValle, R-Long Island (Port Jefferson) link
2. John J. Flanagan, R-Long Island (East Northport) link
3. Brian X. Foley, D-Long Island (Blue Point) link
4. Owen H. Johnson, R-Long Island (West Babylon) link
8. Charles Fuschillo, R-Long Island (Merrick) link
13. Hiram Monserrate, D-NYC (Jackson Heights) link
15. Joseph Addabbo, Jr., D-NYC (Ozone Park) link
19. John Sampson, D-NYC (Brooklyn) link
27. Carl Kruger, D-NYC (Brooklyn) link
36. Ruth Hassell-Thompson, D-Westchester (Williamsbridge) link
40. Vincent Leibell, R-Westchester (Patterson) link

UNDECIDED, LEANING NO (5)
6. Kemp Hannon, R-Long Island (Garden City) link
24. Andrew Lanza, R-NYC (Staten Island) link
45. Betty Little, R-Upstate (Queensbury) (conflicting reports suggest opposition and that she’s ‘within reach’)
49. David Valesky, D-Upstate (Oneida) (officially undecided; constituent e-mail hints at opposition)
57. Catharine Young, R-Upstate (Olean) link