Tag: organizations

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Definitions

I was once again poking around about how the law may or may not try to define “woman” when it comes to marriage, but instead the only governmental definition I found defines “woman” viz child-bearing. According to the Senate version(s) of the Unborn Child Pain Awareness Act (of 2005, 2006, &2007):

(6) WOMAN- The term `woman’ means a female human being who is capable of becoming pregnant, whether or not she has reached the age of majority.

That is just damned scary. For starters, they precisely don’t mention women who have passed child-bearing age, or women who are for one reason or another unable to become pregnant, or women for whom getting pregnant could cause their death. That is, lots of kinds of women are left out of that definition. Yet I think there’s going to be more of this essentialism as the same sex marriage debate comes into contact with the anti-Choice crowd.

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Press Release: NCTE Mourns the Loss of Congressman Tom Lantos

Lantos was thought to have introduced the first pro-transgender effort in the U.S. Congress – the resolution he introduced would have condemned, “all violations of internationally recognized human rights norms based on the real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity of an individual.”

The only survivor of the Nazi Holocaust ever elected to the U.S. Congress, Rep. Lantos was a strong supporter of human rights for all people. He was a co-sponsor in 2007 of both the federal hate crimes bill that passed the House of Representatives and of the unified and inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act (H.R. 2015) that was eventually abandoned this fall.

Our thoughts are with the family and friends of this brave leader.

For more about Lantos, do check the Mercury News article about him.

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NYC: Winter/Spring Partners Meetings

The Gender Identity Project presents… the Trans Partners & Trans Amorous drop-in group for partners of transgender people. It’s a bi-monthly drop-in group to provide support and community for people of all genders to discuss and explore their attraction to and relationships with trans-identified or gender non-conforming individuals.

Winter/Spring 2008
Two Wednesdays each month
7:30-9:00pm
February 6th and 20th
March 5th and 19th
April 9th and 23rd

At The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center
208 West 13th Street, between 7th and 8th Avenues, New York, NY 10011
www.gaycenter.org

  • You may attend any or all of the above group sessions.
  • Open to people currently and formerly in partnerships with trans-people and those exploring their attractions.
  • No sign-up or registration is necessary.
  • There is a $5 suggested donation for each group.

For more information, contact at 212.620.7310, ext. 254

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TG Veterans Survey

New Transgender Veterans Survey
Immediate release. Please post this everywhere.
Transgender American Veterans Association
Contact: Monica F. Helms, President
president@tavausa.org
www.tavausa.org

A new survey has been created to achieve a more accurate picture of the state of the transgender American veteran population. Many of the issues facing transgender veterans are no different than those facing the rest of the transgender community. However negotiating healthcare thru the Veterans Administration and dealing with the Department of Defense poses its own unique set of challenges. This survey is also for those transgender people who are still serving in the military and those veterans who identify and are diagnosed as intersex.
Continue reading “TG Veterans Survey”

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Ugh.

ENDA will be voted on tomorrow, without the Baldwin Amendment.

& Apparently the decision to go ahead was based on HRC surveying 500 LGBT people across the country as to whether or not they should go ahead even though transgender people were included.

As if the 500 organizations that already said NOT to go ahead don’t count at all.

What really pisses me off is that this is how the question was worded:

“This proposal would make it illegal to fire gay, lesbian and bisexual workers because of their sexual orientation. This proposal does not include people who are transgender. Would you favor or oppose this proposal moving forward?”

No mention that the Tammy Baldwin variation isn’t just inclusive of transgender identities, but of GENDER IDENTITY. No mention that the inclusive ENDA would also protect gays and lesbians whose genders aren’t normative. That is, no mention of the butches and queens, sissies and bulldaggers. Apparently there to be hung out to dry along with the trans population. So now we can hear that a woman wasn’t fired for being a lesbian, oh no. She was fired because she’s just too masculine, of course.

Feh. Or, as a friend of mine comments when HRC comes up, “You expect anything from an organization that can’t even put GAY in its name?”

(Sources: PageOneQ, Gay.com, The Advocate, The Associated Press)

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What They Call Me

The issue of whether or not the term SOFFA (Significant Others, Friends, Family & Allies) is used throughout the trans community to describe people like me came up recently in an online discussion group, so I thought I’d share here a list of the terms that are used. Keep in mind this list is drawn from my own experience online & in person, in co-moderating partner support groups at conferences, & in my various conversations with others “like me” in the trans universe.

Historically speaking, it was pretty apparent especially when I first went online as a trans partner, nine years ago or so, that if I found “SOFFA” support I would be quite on my own as a historically-heterosexual female partner of an emerging MTF, & was often directed to more Tri-Ess type organizations when/if I did find them.

So just for the sake of it, here’s some other terms & the way (in my experience) they breakdown in use:

  • SO – most often used to describe the female partner of a CD or MTF of CDing experience
  • SOFFA – short for “Significant Other, Friend, Family or Ally” and is used  predominantly in the FTM community. (note: it is not pronounced like the furniture, but like the O in hot)
  • partner – seems to be used by both
  • chaser/admirer – again, out of MTF spaces, for (mostly) the guys who date/seek out sex with CDs or pre op/non op MTFs. “chaser” is the pejorative; “admirer” is used when their attention is appreciated by the trans person in question.
  • trans-am(orous), transsensual – terms that come out of the FTM universe, for women who date/seek out sex/relationships with FTMs – often intentionally *not* used by FTMs due to the fetishistic connotation, though I find it’s quite a radical idea to describe women who desire MTFs (there aren’t so many of us, so fetishization doesn’t seem to be an issue!)
  • Of recent coinage, which some partners seem to respond to, is NQAL (pronounced “nickel”)- for Not Quite a Lesbian. Used by those of us who either are lesbians but are with FTMs who are stealth, & also by female partners who are heterosexual but are viewed as lesbians when our MTFs transition/crossdress.

Other notes:

  • One of the reasons I don’t use SOFFA is exactly because lumping together those who date/partner with trans people is already such a mixed bag of people, & because the term can be off-putting to allies who aren’t dating trans people to be seen as only being there for the sexual/romantic partnerships. Also, because there is a big difference between an ally who is trans am & the partner of an MTF or FTM who is transitioning after years of a long term relationship. (The mutual scorn can be palpable.)
  • As support group practice (at least at the LGBT center in manhattan) has dictated, putting the parents/family of trans people in the same room with partners/admirers/trans-am people is pretty disastrous as well.
  • PFLAG’s trans support is referred to as TNET, though I often just use TFLAG (for families of trans).

The good news in all this verbal soup is that there are more & more of us everyday!

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My Merrimack College Talk

Helen Boyd @ Merrimack College in North Andover, MA

Not Jerry Springer: Gender Expression and Transgender Identities

Touching on her own experience as the partner of a trans person and on her experiences with the mainstream media, Boyd will speak from a feminist perspective about transgender identities and their relative place in the spectrum of gender expression.

Tuesday, November 13
4-5:30 pm in Murray Lounge
Cosponsored by the Women’s and Gender Studies Department

For more information contact Gordene MacKenzie at Sullivan 308, X4278

Directions to Merrimack College

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Trans Couples: Jeanne & Diana

There are not a lot of stories of successful transsexual / non-trans partner marriages. One recurring theme that I see is the need for pacing. Unfortunately too many trans-partners once they have their epiphany rush like a runaway freight train towards transition. Like most runaway freight trains these relationships typically end in destruction.

I’m not going to say that there is any one right way to transition. We all know that those paths are as unique as the individuals who tread them. However, if a couple is going to have any possibility of remaining intact each partner must be willing to recognize that compromises will be an integral part of the process.

Continue reading “Trans Couples: Jeanne & Diana”