Well, Caprice tagged me, so here are my bookish answers:
1. One book that changed your life? The Diamond in the Window, by Jane Langton. It’s a pre-teen book, maybe YA (Young Adult) about two poor kids who live in a crazy house in Concord, Massachusetts, and whose aunt gives piano lessons to awful children while the banker is always trying to repossess. But the story is about a poem the kids find which is a transcendental dream poem, and leads them through a series of dreams. There’s one about mirrors that shaped how I thought about my own life and choices.
2. One book you have read more than once? The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Yes, I do read books about grown-ups, but they’re not the ones with the deepest meanings to me. I re-read Narnia every few years, as a kind of refresher course.
3. One book you would want on a desert island? Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo. It’s a good combination of simple and complex that would keep me occupied. (Favorite story: went into a bookstore for a copy and couldn’t find it, asked the staff. Staff person says, “Oh you mean Les Mis, like the musical?” Oy.)
4. One book that made you laugh? Butch Is A Noun, forthcoming from S. Bear Bergman. There are bits in it that made me laugh out loud on the subway, & Betty even let me read it to her outloud some, which is pretty much verboten when it comes to gender books. Though sometimes I read Judith Butler outloud to make her laugh, but in a very different way.
5. One book that made you cry? More kids books, but more recent: His Dark Materials. The scene where she is separated from her familiar is almost too painful.
6. One book you wish had been written? I have to do this one historically, because otherwise I think, “Well if you’d like to see a book written, write it!” So, instead, The New Academia Series: Volume I: Accessible Prose (published c. 1982 or so).
7. One book you wish had never been written? Get your sticks and stones, kids: The Bible.
8. One book you are currently reading? Betty gave me a copy of a book called Dragon Wing and so far it’s entertaining. It’s certainly a nice break from the umpteen gender books I was reading as research.
9. One book you have been meaning to read? A book called The Trouser People, about Burma.
10. Now tag five people: JW, Maurice, Kathy, Donna, and John R. If any of them actually get back to me, I’ll post them here. (But feel free to use the comments section, folks! That’s what it’s there for!)
"Having Boobs Sucks."
I never expected my quote of the day to come from South Park, but there you go: Having boobs sucks.
It was the single funniest South Park I’ve ever seen. That it happened to completely explain sexism made it even funnier. If I taught Sex Ed in high school, I’d show it to my classes.
Short version: a girl named Bebe, who’s in the the South Park class starts to develop breasts. Boys go wonky and can’t figure out why Bebe seems so cool all of a sudden & they never noticed it before. Other girls start to call her a slut, simultaneously. Bebe hates new attention, asks mom about it, who encourages her to use her breasts as power. Bebe asks mother, “Mom, what’s 6 x 8?” Mom replies, “Honey, 6 and 8 are two different numbers.” (It’s somewhere in here she says, “Having boobs sucks.”) Later, after boys have
become neanderthal, beating each other up and mumbling about tatas, Bebe – after failing to convince a plastic surgeon to give her breast reduction surgery – comes to school wearing a box. Boys behave normally, can’t figure out why she doesn’t seem so cool anymore. School guidance counselor explains the power breasts have over male minds. Jealous girl shows up with new implanted breasts; boys mock her in order to regain control over breast mastery of their brains.
(Though the show where some kids from NYC call the South Park kids “queefs” and the SP kids don’t know what it means was pretty hysterical, too. Really, I’m very ashamed of myself.)
* the picture on top is Betty as an SP character, and the other one is me, as same. Make yourself into a SP character at SP Studios.
The Lack of Category
Something in a couple of not-so-recent threads – one about growing up a tomboy & the other about kids and gender identity – had me thinking about categories, since right now, boys compete against boys and girls against girls, though there are sports where that’s starting to change.
Two thoughts resulted:
1) I wonder what would happen if overnight we had people compete based on 1) build (height, muscle tone), 2) fitness level, and 3) experience in the sport/game. That is, if we got rid of gender altogether.
2) What if right now our real problem is that we don’t have enough categories? I mean, say we split the world up tomorrow by hair color instead of gender, Blondes and Brunettes. It’d force red-haired people to choose, and argue that there should be a third hair color. It’d force someone like me (who has kind of streaky hair) to choose. What if we told the Blondes they had to be delicate, graceful, and nurturing (how I have come to hate that word!) and told the Brunettes they had to be aggressive, powerful, and strong? Would L’Oreal make a fortune? Would there be Blondes trapped in Brunettes’ bodies?
I’m quite serious. Take all the attributes we normally assign to male/masculine or female/feminine people, and apply them to people with one hair color or another.
Sure seems arbitrary, doesn’t it? My guess? The whole men/women thing makes about as much sense.
Girls Gone Helpful
It seems sometimes that all we ever hear about in terms of what kids do with their Spring Break is of the ‘girls gone wild’ variety, but Sirena sent me this link to a movie that documents a very different type of Spring Break spent by some kids helping clean up houses in New Orleans.
I’m not surprised to see that Acorn organized these trips; they’re one of the best orgs I know at building community.
New Orleans Update
After months of asking the wrong people, I finally asked one of the right people: the incomparable Chi Chi Valenti, who went to New Orleans this past Mardi Gras with Krewe York to show support for our sister city. Since Betty & I weren’t able to go as we planned to, I asked her if there’s anyone down there doing artsy/queer stuff that some of you might want to help fund.
- Here are her three suggestions:
- http://www.noaidstaskforce.com/
New Orleans AIDS Taskforce is doing grants for gay and transgendered youth – this is a great program and a great organization too, even pre-Katrina: “Youth, age 16 – 25, who are lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender and questioning are eligible for $500 grants to help them recover from the effects of Hurricane Katrina. “ - http://www.summerstages.org/index.htm
Stage to Stage is a NO children’s theater group working in poor neighborhoods that is trying to rebuild - http://www.artscouncilofneworleans.org/
which is running several artist relief programs.
So take your pick, and donate!
Five Questions With… Josey Vogels
Josey Vogels is the author of the nationally syndicated relationships column My Messy Bedroom and the dating advice column Dating Girl. She has published five books on sex and relationships – the most recent is entitled Bedside Manners: Sex Etiquette Made Easy. Her fourth book, The Secret Language of Girls, has been published in several languages and was made into a documentary. Her website – www.joseyvogels.com — is visited by thousands monthly and she is a popular speaking guest at universities and colleges across Canada.
1) I was a little amazed at the ‘revelation’ of She Comes First – considering women have been basically saying the same thing as Ian Kerner (the author of She Comes First) did, for years. Why do you think it took a guy to say it before anyone seemed to listen?
It’s funny, I felt exactly the same way. In fact, this is what I wrote in a column I did about the book: “That Kerner comes off as the Neil Armstrong of oral sex is a little insulting when you consider how many women (several of whom he refers to throughout the book) have been saying for years that intercourse alone doesn’t cut it for the ladies when it comes to orgasm. But the fact that Kerner is on a mission to turn men into enthusiastic cunning linguists like himself is a welcome one. Because, clearly, they aren’t listening to us.”
I think sadly, the fact that it was a man made the mainstream media take notice. It was truly a bizarre thing. I thought it was interesting how though also how Kerner’s language in the book was very “male” which again, might have made it more palatable for a media that likes that kind of male authoritative approach to things.
As I wrote at the time:
“She Comes First may have indeed changed the focus from intercourse to oral sex but it’s still all about male performance. Kerner’s just shifted the pressure from the penis to the tongue. He even describes the tongue as the best “tool” for the job.
In fact, at times, with all the references to hoods and shafts and some rather creepy technical illustrations, She Comes First, reads more like a car manual than a guide to becoming a good lover. So while Kerner now describes himself as “happily married and able to make love successfully” (wonder what a good cunnilinguist pulls in these days?), being a “successful” lover isn’t just about having a skillful tongue — though that is, of course, welcome. It’s about knowing how to stimulate a woman’s mind, to make her feel amazing and sexy in bed and out. I’m all for improving your technique. But like a good mechanic, a good lover doesn’t just know how to operate the machinery, he knows how to make it purr.”
Five Questions With… Mara Keisling
Mara Keisling is the founding Executive Director of NCTE (National Center for Transgender Equality). A Pennsylvania native, Mara came to Washington after co-chairing the Pennsylvania Gender Rights Coalition. Mara is a transgender-identified woman who also identifies as a parent and a Pennsylvanian. She is a graduate of Penn State University and did her graduate work at Harvard University in American Government. She has served on the board of Directors of Common Roads, an LGBTQ Youth Group, and on the steering committee of the Statewide Pennsylvania Rights Coalition. Mara has almost twenty-five years of professional experience in social marketing and opinion research.
1) How much do you think your personality and sense of humor have to do with your success as a lobbyist? What personality? What humor?
I’m not yet ready to claim personal lobbying success, though I know we definitely are having an impact and NCTE was integral to getting the first ever piece of positive trans legislation introduced in Congress this year. I do know though that my sense of humor is a vital part of my personality and helps keep me strong. “They†say that keeping one’s sense of humor is important to weathering bad situations and I certainly believe that. And I have always been lucky enough to be able to amuse myself. Hopefully sometimes others are amused as well.
The work we do educating policymakers, though, is deadly serious and I do treat it that way. That doesn’t mean I do not inject humor as appropriate though. I think it humanizes us and me and makes our stories somewhat more accessible to those who may be trepidatious at first.
By the way, kind of as a hobby, I have begun to do a little bit of standup comedy again and may be coming to a town near you, or at least a trans conference near you.
Continue reading “Five Questions With… Mara Keisling”
SF Queer Youth Agree…
… that what JT LeRoy did is inexcusable.
Galley Cat interviewed me, and Jenny Boylan, and Max Valerio about the JT LeRoy brouhaha, too.
Diversity in the Classroom Guide
An old and dear friend of mine recently put together a book about diversity in the classroom. It’s not a regular book – more of a workbook or guide for teachers, school therapists, and other people who actually work with kids in schools. It’s called Voices of Diversity: Stories, Activities and Resources for the Multicultural Classroom.
The good news is that she’s an old friend of mine, and asked me for a trans story – maybe some of you remember me asking around for someone who had a first-person account of a trans student and some crisis that came out of transness – but I can certify that at least this book has one trans student in it.
The others that I read – one featuring a gay couple dealing with Mother’s Day – were all really wonderful, & helpful.
The Dark Side: Women, HPV, and a Cancer Vaccine
Back in April, I wrote about how a potential vaccine for one form of cancer – cervical cancer caused by HPV – might be blocked as a result of our usual anti-sex, unrealistic Religious Right. The thing is, girls could be saved the chance of ever getting cervical cancer by getting the vaccination, but some people would rather those girls risk dying of a preventable cancer because they feel that giving the girls a vaccination might ‘encourage’ them to have sex.
It’s along the same line of thinking as ‘let our kids die, but don’t give them condoms.’ That is, an idiotic line of thinking.
One of the regulars over at DailyKos has written an astonishingly good piece about women, HPV, the vaccine, and why some people have a problem with saving girls’ lives. I strongly recommend reading it through to the end.